Driver's Ed: Naruto Style!
by KarmaDreamz
Summary: Konoha gets cars and are teaching the Genins to drive! Get ready for car crashing, cliff jumping, and granny hit’n’runs GALORE! Naruto style! Gai's plan to get driving back revealed!
1. Chapter 1

**KDZ**: OH YEAH! Driver's ED! Oh…wait…how can KONOHA have cars you ask? Uh…they got them imported? Heh. Heh. Anyways, my friend! Get ready for car crashing, cliff jumping, and granny hit'n'runs GALORE! Naruto style!

Disclaimer: Twinkle, Twinkle little star why are dreams SO FAR? No…I don't own Naruto…if I did, Sasuke would be tortured…I'm a recovering Sasuke-hater…seriously, I'm not doing ANY progress, sigh.

Warning: OOC…well, not really…but just in case ya know, especially for Hinata! This is the reason why people under the age of 16-17 AREN'T allowed to drive, LOL!

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Driver's ED: Naruto Style

Chapter 1: Goodbye cruel world!

Konoha had FINALLY gotten cars…SURE it took a lot of convincing but they had finally convinced Tsunade that not only Jounins and ANBU should drive.

Because some of the Genins were more sane then the Jounins:

"OH. MY. GOD." Gai-Sensei shouted happily, "uh…" Tenten said as she watched Gai-Sensei jump around giddily, "I'm guessing the ride was enjoyable for you?" Rock Lee asked him.

"VERY much! I was driving and then a stop sign came" Gai-Sensei told them, "and then?" Rock Lee said excited. "I stopped" Gai-Sensei said happily.

"Fun for the whole family" Neji said sarcastically, "IT WAS AMAZING!" Gai-Sensei shrieked joyfully. "Yuh-huh" Tenten said with a sigh.

"Two lefts and one right and then I was here…" Gai-Sensei said grinning, "YAY! That was amazing!" Rock Lee said happily.

"I KNOW!" Gai-Sensei shrieked.

Basically, Tenten used that as a defense that Genins were just as capable as driving like the Jounins, so Hokage decided to teach the Genins how to drive.

And this is where the story begins…

"Uchiha" Kakashi-sensei said throwing Sasuke the keys, "Sakura, Naruto! Back seat" Kakashi said pointing to the backseat.

"N-NO! NO WAY! NUH UH!" Naruto shouted in disbelief, "what's wrong now, dobe?" Sasuke asked him.

"I'm not getting in the car with HIM driving!" Naruto said pointing at Sasuke, "what's wrong with Sasuke-kun? Huh? Huh?" Sakura shrieked menacingly in Naruto's face.

"BECAUSE!" Naruto went into dream mode:

"_Yo, I'm Sasuke! I'm the pretty boy who thinks I'm ALL that and a bag of chips! Ketchup chips! But, my life SUCKS! My family is dead, I have a fire attack that SERIOUSLY does nothing except damage trees, and I'll never be able to defeat Itachi!" Sasuke said as he drove the car. _

"_GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!" Sasuke shrieked as he made a quick sharp turn and the car blew into pieces. _

"AND WE'RE IN THE BACKSEAT listening to him drivel on about his suckish life!" Naruto shrieked, "AS HE BLOWS UP THE CAR!"

"Oh…god" Kakashi said in horror as he grabbed the keys from Sasuke, "what the…you don't honestly believe him do you?" Sasuke asked Kakashi.

"Uh…I think you're a bit too unstable to drive a car, Sasuke" Kakashi said as he clutched the keys protectively.

"Grr…" Sasuke just looked pissed off that he hadn't been able to drive the silver car, "Haruna! Catch!" Kakashi said throwing her the keys.

"Yes!" Sakura said happily as she caught the keys, "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FREAKING MIND?" Naruto yelled as he pulled his hair exaggerating his complete horror.

"What's wrong with me?" Sakura growled angrily, "I'll TELL you!" Naruto said as he showed them his little fantasy world again.

"_Hi! I'm Sakura! I'm a really cute girl who's in love with a complete loser! But, I think he's a hottie so who CARES if he's a complete asshole to me! It's how fit he is that counts not his personality!" Sakura said giggling as she drove the car around Konoha. _

"_WAIT-A-MINUTE! Sasuke-kun will NEVER love me he only loves himself! I HATE MY LIFE!" Sakura makes a sharp turn as she slams the car against the wall as it blows up. _

"BOOOM!" Naruto shouted as he flayed his arms to show them how big the explosion was.

"Sakura, keys" Kakashi said opening his hand, "N-NO! That's stupid! Sasuke DOES love me!" Sakura shouted angrily.

"No I don't" Sasuke said shrugging, "take them," Sakura whispered deadly as she handed him the keys.

"Thank you, for the good of Konoha" Kakashi said grabbing the keys fast, "since Naruto here is the voice of reason I supposed we have nothing to worry about HIM taking the keys" Kakashi said trying to give up the keys to Naruto but he refused.

"Are you SURE you can trust me…" Naruto said as he pulled them once again into that little fantasy world.

"_WHAZZ UP? Naruto here! I'm going to be the Hokage! Don't think I'll blow up the car because I assume I'll never become Hokage because I have what it takes to be Hokage!" Naruto said happily driving the car. _

"What's wrong with this picture" Kakashi asked Naruto, "wait for it" Naruto told him.

_GROWL! _

"_Oops! That's my stomach…and IRUKA ISN'T BUYING ME RAMEN TODAY! I CAN'T LIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS!" Naruto shrieked as he slammed the car into a pole as it blew up. _

Sakura stared at him open-mouth, "We're not in the backseat are we?" Sakura asked cautiously. "DUH! Don't you see Sasuke's shoe?" Naruto said pointing to the debris from the car crash in the fantasy bubble.

Kakashi stared at the keys, and walked away from the trio who were staring at the Fantasy bubble in horror as they watched the flames.

Later on, Kakashi met up with Asuma…

"Yo! Keys are yours" Kakashi said throwing him the keys, "Eh? You're done with yours already?" Asuma asked him.

"Yeah. As done as I'll ever be," Kakashi said disappearing in a cloud of smoke, "what? Oh well…I better start on MY lesson to the kids" Asuma said as he went to go find his students.

**--- End of Chapter 1**

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****KDZ**: Yes, no lesson there. More of an introduction really, I hope you liked the first chapter of "Driver's Ed! Naruto Style!" the next chapter is where the madness starts! In the 2nd chapter "NO CHOUJI, NOOOO!" Review please! 


	2. No Chouji No

**KDZ**: OH YEAH! Driver's ED! Oh…wait…how can KONOHA have cars you ask? Uh…they got them imported? Heh. Heh. Anyways, my friend! Get ready for car crashing, cliff jumping, and granny hit'n'runs GALORE! Naruto style!

Disclaimer: Twinkle, Twinkle little star why are dreams SO FAR? No…I don't own Naruto…if I did, Sasuke would be tortured…I'm a recovering Sasuke-hater…seriously, I'm not doing ANY progress, sigh.

Warning: OOC…well, not really…but just in case ya know, especially for Hinata! This is the reason why people under the age of 16-17 AREN'T allowed to drive, LOL!

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Driver's ED: Naruto Style

Chapter 2: NO, CHOUJI NO!

"Chouji, the keys are yours!" Asuma said throwing him the keys, "I'M first?" Chouji said in shock. "Well, you know" Asuma just shrugged modestly as Chouji's face suddenly brightened.

Aw, can't resist a happy Chouji…

"AW RIGHT!" Chouji said as he started up the car, "Okay! Now…press that thingy" Asuma said pointing at the accelerator.

"The accelerator?" Chouji asked him; "Whatever" Asuma said shrugging. "OK!" Chouji pressed the accelerator slowly as the car started to move at a regular pace, "WICKED!" Chouji yelled happily as the car moved.

Yes, Chouji was doing well, and he wouldn't stop bragging about it. "Check me out! I'm driving! I'm driving! WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" Chouji shouted out the window laughing.

"Check me out Shikamaru! I'm driving, OH YEAH! I'm DRIVING!" Chouji squealed happily, "Uh huh" Shikamaru said in a bored tone as he just stared out the window looking at the clouds.

Suddenly something had 'CAUGHT' Chouji's attention; it had been the sign for a sale on BBQ

**ALL BBQ ITEMS 50 OFF!**

"That's an offer I CAN'T refuse!" Chouji said laughing as he made a quick, sharp turn towards the restaurant.

"EEEK!" Ino shrieked from the backseat, "WHAT THE? CHOUJI! TURN AROUND NOW!" Asuma commanded but Chouji had a bit of drool coming out of his mouth as he drove straight for the restaurant.

"NO, CHOUJI NO!" Ino shrieked at him but he kept going, "Chouji. Stop this car right now" Shikamaru said in a calm voice trying to stop him but Chouji didn't hear him.

"NO, CHOUJI NO!" All three of them shouted in horror as the car went smashing through the restaurant.

**LATER ON… **

"Uh…that was an offer I just COULDN'T refuse, I mean 50 percent off EVERY BBQ item it was impossible for me to drive right by it" Chouji said trying to look sad but he kept licking the BBQ off his fingers.

"So you had to go THROUGH it?" Ino shrieked pointing to the car in the middle of the restaurant, "I'm…I HAVE A PROBLEM!" Chouji shouted in grief as he cried in his hands.

"That's okay…we'll just go get ANOTHER car, nothing to worry about" Asuma said as his heart started to FINALLY slow down.

So, eventually they had gotten another car. No big deal, because Shikamaru was the responsible one…not like anything BAD would happen…

"Shikamaru, take the keys" Asuma said handing them to him, "Whatever" Shikamaru said as he sat in the driver's seat.

"OKAY! Now press the thingy lightly with your foot" Asuma said pointing to the accelerator.

"ACCELERATOR!" Ino and Chouji shouted from the back, "whatever" Asuma growled angrily as he pointed to the road.

"ALRIGHT! SHOW THEM CHUUNINS ARE BETTER THAN GENINS!" Asuma squealed happily as Shikamaru started the car, and it stopped.

"Uh…Shikamaru?" Asuma said wondering why the car had stopped, but then the car started up again…

"Wow. For a second I thought you didn't know how to drive, BOY, was I scared! THEN I remembered that this is SHIKAMARU and he won't let us down…even though right this minute he's driving towards a cliff and not stopping I'm sure he knows what to do!" Asuma said with a nervous laugh as he took a look at Shikamaru.

Who was fast asleep at the wheel, "So YEAH? Even though he's asleep at the wheel, we're going 125 mph RIGHT for a cliff and there's no turning back…Shikamaru's going to use his brains and save us, right?" Asuma said turning around to see the horrified looks on Chouji and Ino's face.

"I'm going to die..." Asuma whimpered as the car jumped over the cliff, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Everyone screeched as the car fell.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! COUGH! COUGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" they all screeched.

"ZZZ" Came Shikamaru as Asuma fast grabbed them all as they jumped out of the car as the car exploded.

"Dammit. We ruined two cars in one day…Hokage-sama is NOT going to be pleased" Asuma said with a sigh. "I'm still driving today, right?" Ino asked him. "NO!" came Chouji and Asuma's screamed at her.

"Ugh" Ino pouted, as Chouji made sure Shikamaru was still alive from the jump, he was.

"Mmph? What happened?" Shikamaru said waking up, "nothing. Just fell asleep at the wheel, ya know it happens ALL the time" Asuma said sarcastically.

"That's good" Chouji said laughing, obviously not noticing the sarcasm dripping in Asuma's voice.

"FINE! But, tomorrow I'm driving right? Right?" Ino called as Asuma ran away from his three students; the next driver's Ed lesson just might kill him.

"KURENAI! ASK TSUNADE FOR ANOTHER CAR FOR YOUR LESSON" Asuma shouted as Ino came running on his tail.

"I WON'T KILL YOU! I SWEAR!" Ino shrieked after him.

"What? Oh…guess his lesson wasn't SO good, but mine's just Hinata, Kiba, and Shino. No trouble there" Kurenai said giggling as she went off to get a car from Tsunade.

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KDZ: The next chapter is a personal favorite! Remember to REVIEW please! Thanks for the reviews!**

RLnaruhina: LOL! Thanks for the review!

Yinan: That's what I'm doing now, silly…thanks for the review!

Fire Engine: That's true; Naruto does have an overactive imagination! At least Asuma's team survived!

Kurayami no Sayokyoku: A Drive by…interesting (Evil smile insert here). Can I use that? Thanks, and thanks for the review!

Muffin Ruler: Awesome review! LOL! But, your lucky if you can go on other sites while the teacher's talking…my school's can't do that, 'cuz they know what your doing! It's some kind of new technology…so sad, really. Thanks for the review!

Back of Beyond: Thank you and thanks for the review:)

So, thanks for all the reviews! You all rock! Keep on reviewing, please! And trust me…it gets WORSE! The driving lessons I mean!


	3. FD 101

**KDZ**: OH YEAH! Driver's ED! Oh…wait…how can KONOHA have cars you ask? Uh…they got them imported? Heh. Heh. Anyways, my friend! Get ready for car crashing, cliff jumping, and granny hit'n'runs GALORE! Naruto style!

Disclaimer: Twinkle, Twinkle little star why are dreams SO FAR? No…I don't own Naruto…if I did, Sasuke would be tortured…I'm a recovering Sasuke-hater…seriously, I'm not doing ANY progress, sigh.

Warning: OOC…well, not really…but just in case ya know, especially for Hinata! This is the reason why people under the age of 16-17 AREN'T allowed to drive, LOL! And there's more than a share of swearing in this chapter!

Driver's ED: Naruto Style

Chapter 3: FD 101!

"My, 2 cars completely demolished" Kurenai said throwing the keys up and down in her hand, "Asuma is such an idiot…kind of cute though" Kurenai said grinning as she found her students.

"WHAT was that?" Kiba said grinning, "get in the driver's seat and shut up," Kurenai said angrily.

"Yes, Vampirita" Kiba said as he opened the red convertible's car door. "Press that thingy over there lightly with your foot" she said pointing to the accelerator.

"The accelerator?" Kiba asked her, "The what?" Kurenai asked him. "Forget it" Kiba said with a laugh.

Kiba pressed it lightly as it started to move, "YAY!" Kiba said as he started to get the hang of driving.

"How am I doing?" Kiba asked Kurenai, "Great" Kurenai said happily knowing that she wasn't going to damage the convertible.

Kiba jumped up and started to wolf whistle at the poodle that was walking by eating her kibbles and bits, Kiba turned his head sideways to get a better look at her bending over.

"HENTAI" Kurenai said grabbing the wheel, "S…sorry" Kiba said going back to the wheel.

DEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOODEEEEDOOODEEEODOOO (**KDZ**: Police Siren, LOL)

"What the? What the hell is that? Another CAR?" Kiba said looking in the review mirror, "It's ANBU!" Kurenai said as she stopped the car with her foot.

"EEEK!" Hinata shouted as the car came to an abrupt stop, "…" said Shino.

Kiba started to panic; the Police before have never stopped him. This being his first time behind the wheel MAY have had something to do with that.

"I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the vehicle," an ANBU officer told him, "what?" Kiba said in shock.

"STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE!" she shrieked in his ear, "I'm out" Kiba said jumping out to see the other officer. (**KDZ**: There's two officers…one female, one male)

"Dear god…" the female cop said as her shaking hands reached for the walkie-talkie, "PUT YOU HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!" The male cop ordered him.

"What the?" Kiba sobbed as he put his hands on his head watching the female cop on the walkie-talkie.

"Yes. I have a FD 101 here…" she said in to the Walkie-talkie, "Um…a what?" Kiba said shocked.

"_Roger that" _that came the reply, "I'm taking this criminal into custody" she told the person on the other side of the walkie-talkie.

"_Roger that_" came the reply, "Get a life, fool" the female cop said angrily. "_Roger that_" he said again.

"Argh" she said putting the walkie-talkie in her pocket angrily, "Excuse me for asking but just WHAT is a FD 101?" Kurenai asked the cops.

"FD 101 is a Fashion Disaster!" The female said dramatically, "YES! A FASHION DISASTER!" The male cop yelled angrily.

"…What…the…BEEP" Kiba was cut off by the foghorn the male cop had, "No swearing, that's another offense" The ANBU cop said angrily.

"I'll punish him for that one" Kurenai said happily, "All right. But, the disaster cannot be ignored!" The Male cop shouted angrily.

"What's wrong with my outfit?" Kiba said staring at his jacket, "What is RIGHT with it?" the female cop said angrily. "You're going to arrest him because he has a hideous jacket?" Kurenai said shocked. "Damn straight" The male cop said nodding.

"People will stop in the street to pity him and that could start a distraction," the female added to that, "Oh" Kurenai said knowledgably.

LATER ON… 

"I can't believe we almost got arrested because you couldn't give up a stupid jacket," Kurenai said behind the wheel. "You have such an unusual attachment to it" Shino said angrily.

"Anyways" Kurenai said as she parked the car, "Hinata! Your up!" Kurenai said getting out of the car. "O…okay" Hinata said softly as she got into the front seat.

"Now remember to press that thingy over there LIGHTLY, trust me…you'll do okay" Kurenai said trying to comfort her. "R…right" Hinata said as she started the car, "GOOD JOB! HINATA-CHAN!" Kiba shouted from the back.

"Thanks" Hinata said, as she wasn't doing that bad, seriously. But, then it came to a crosswalk in the street.

Kurenai told her to stop and let the old lady pass by, Hinata just nodded as she waited for the old lady to pass by…

She was SO slow it wasn't even funny! "Um…could you hurry it up please?" Hinata called from inside the car, "I'll walk as fast as I can, goddammit!" the old woman yelled at her.

"Good god" Kurenai said smirking as the lady was having serious difficulty crossing the street, "Places to go! People to see!" Hinata called at her, pissed off.

"Oh that's it," The lady said stopped and flipping Hinata off, "Oh NO she didn't!" Hinata said angrily.

Hinata stepped on the accelerator angrily, to make a noise like a bull starting to strike (**KDZ**: Sorry…I hope you understand what I mean)

"GRR! BRING IT ON!" The old lady said angrily, "Oh, it is BROUGHT!" Hinata said as she slammed the red convertible into the old Lady.

"HINATA!" Kiba shouted in horror, "GRR! Freaking old lady, trying to mess with me" Hinata said backing up.

The old lady started to twitch on the floor, "SEE YA IN HELL, BIATCH!" Hinata shrieked hitting her with the car again.

"OH MY GOD!" Kurenai yelled in disbelief, as Hinata zoomed off from the old lady on the brink of death.

"You could have KILLED her" Kiba said looking back at the old lady on the floor, "Oh. She would have died ANYWAYS!" Hinata yelled, behind her shoulder.

Suddenly, an old man was trying to cross the street. "MOVE IT OR EFFING LOSE IT!" Hinata yelled, honking angrily.

"What?" The man said he obviously couldn't hear the beeping of the horn…he was deaf.

"MY FACE NEEDS SOME SPACE!" Hinata shouted angrily as she slammed the car into him.

Kurenai and Shino jumped out of the car, trying to figure out if the old man was okay.

"I see a white light…" the man groaned on the floor, "OH! LIGHT IS GOOD! RUN TO THE LIGHT" Kurenai said happily she knew her stuff. "Damn it!" Shino said as he gave the man CPR.

"We have to go!" Kurenai said grabbing Shino's arm, "But the man…" Shino said staring at him. "Bound to die this week or tomorrow ANYWAYS!" Kurenai said as the jetted into the car.

"Let's go!" Kiba shouted horrified, Hinata just shrugged as she drove RIGHT over the man and kept going. Slamming into other people along the way…

"So…" Kiba said uneasily, "Yeah?" Hinata asked him. "Your insane" Shino shouted in horror as they watched her just slam into people, and kept on going.

"Hinata, I'm going to have to tell you that your turn is UP" Kurenai said slamming on the brakes, "Seriously? Well. I had fun," Hinata said in a cool voice, Shino just coughed.

"Shino…do you even WANT to go?" Kurenai asked him, "Meh" Shino said getting into the drivers seat. "At least its just Shino" Kurenai said happily as Shino started the car.

"Do you like Old People?" Hinata hissed from the backseat, "What?" Shino said shocked. "Let's kill 'em…kill 'em all…" Hinata said looking around nervously, "O…Kay then!" Kiba said rolling his eyes.

"So, Shino do you even know what your doing?" Kurenai asked him as Shino jerked the Steering wheel in such an odd manner, and the car was just going. Then Stopping. Then…it kept going…and going…and going…

"I can't see" Shino whispered scared, "What the?" Kurenai said looking at him horrified. "I can't see through my glasses" Shino said as he was missing the trees by one inch.

"Then take them OFF" Kiba shouted as the started going through a cornfield, "I can't" Shino said simply as the car kept on going.

"Mmm…Corn" Hinata whispered as she took a bite, "Ignore her. She's not right in her head today" Kurenai told Shino.

"Why can't you take them off?" Kiba asked as they were finally out of the cornfield, "Thank god. I was sick of the corn," Kurenai said happily. "BECAUSE I'm self conscious about my eyes" Shino told him as he suddenly turned the car around, completely by accident.

Back into the Cornfield, "DAMMIT!" Kurenai said angrily as they went through the cornfield again.

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LATER ON THAT DAY…

"So…here ya go!" Kurenai said handing Gai-Sensei the keys through the Jail Cell, "Thank you" Gai-Sensei said averting her gaze.

"NOW!" said the female cop walking into the Jail, "Do you SEE what happens when you wear hideous clothes?" she asked Kiba.

"Yes" Kiba said angrily, "Do you SEE what happens when you murder old people instead of letting the medical-nins just slip stuff into their food?" The cop asked Hinata.

"Yeah" Hinata said pouting, "Do you SEE what happens when you're so self-conscious about your eyes?" she asked Shino.

"…" Shino said just folded his arms angrily, "Do you SEE what happens when you seta whole cornfieldon fire?" the female cop asked Kurenai.

"Grr" Kurenai said her red eyes burning angrily, "OOH! A vampire" The female cop said amazed, "NOT A VAMPIRE!" Kurenai shrieked angrily.

"Anyways! I have to go teach MY students, cheerios!" Gai-Sensei said skipping off, "BEWARE, Puny mortal, BEWARE the Genins!" Kurenai yelled after him.

"HAHAHA! Vampires and their crazy talk" Gai-Sensei said laughing, "NOT A VAMPIRE!" Kurenai shrieked after him.

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KDZ: Sorry it was so long! Review and I'll update sooner! Thanks for the reviews!**


	4. Father Duck

**KDZ**: OH YEAH! Driver's ED! Oh…wait…how can KONOHA have cars you ask? Uh…they got them imported? Heh. Heh. Anyways, my friend! Get ready for car crashing, cliff jumping, and granny hit'n'runs GALORE! Naruto style! Sorry about the late updates, I just finished with a bunch of essays…but I'm done now! I'm going to get started on Tenten's lesson, enjoy!

Disclaimer: No, I said NO! STOP MAKING ME SAY IT! For god's sake **NO**!

Warning: OOC…well, not really…but just in case ya know, especially for Hinata! This is the reason why people under the age of 16-17 AREN'T allowed to drive, LOL! And there's more than a share of swearing in this chapter!

Remember: No, I don't have a problem with Old People OR Hinata! It's just that in all the stories they make fun of EVERYONE ELSE but not Hinata, Kurenai, Tenten or like any of them and I think that's unfair. So, I lurve to make fun of 'em like I'm balancing it out for them…it's for the good of the people, well that's my excuse anyways.

**Driver's ED: Naruto Style

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Chapter 4: Father Duck

"So than after my miraculous escape from the Vampire Kurenai I came through sleet and snow to give you your Driver's Ed class!" Gai-Sensei said finishing his long, and grueling tale. Even though he pretty much drove there…

"GO GAI-SENSEI!" Rock Lee sobbed, "It's okay, but I mean…Neji's tale about how his eyes are white because Hinata's was an evil bitch who sucked out the eyes of all the Hyuuga's…that was scary" Tenten said shuddering.

Neji smirked, yes…his plan for everyone to hate the heir to the Hyuuga throne was working…but he had to be BETTER than her to work, or people would still like her the evil eye-sucker…even thought that wasn't true but like whatever.

"You may go first Rock Lee" Gai-Sensei said throwing him the keys, "HORRAY!" Rock Lee said but then Gai-Sensei caught Neji's look…those eyes were SCARY!

"Actually, Rock Lee…let Neji-kun go first" Gai-Sensei whispered scared, "What why?" Rock Lee said shocked.

BOOM! Gai-Sensei slammed his fist into his face making Rock Lee fly from the impact, "DON'T QUESTION ME, BOY!" Gai-Sensei shouted enraged.

"I'm so sorry, Gai-Sensei" Rock Lee sobbed, "No! I'm sorry, Lee!" Gai-Sensei sobbed.

"LEE!" Gai-Sensei sobbed as he opened his arms, a sunset suddenly REALLY appearing out of nowhere…but for people as cool as Rock Lee and Gai-Sensei they just kind of appear for you…

"Gai-Sensei!" Lee sobbed as he fell into his embrace, "LEE!" Gai-Sensei shouted between tears.

VROOOM!

A car slammed through the sunset about to run into to Gai-Sensei and Lee.

"What the?" Tenten shrieked as she slammed the brake, "hey! What was that for?" Neji said upset he didn't finish the job.

"Wow" Gai-Sensei said happily, as the two got into the back of the car, "We almost died" Rock Lee said chuckling nervously.

"Go figure" Neji grumbled angrily, he had almost got rid of the evil of jumpsuit clad fuzzy eye browed men that just complicated his life for the worst. (**KDZ**: I LURVE Gai-Sensei and Rock Lee don't get me wrong, Haha)

"Oh well, Neji let's start with your lesson…and swear you won't kill us" Gai-Sensei added, "Yup!" Rock Lee said as he went through his stuff and pulled out a clipboard.

"Here ya go Gai-Sensei" Rock Lee said as Gai-Sensei fished in his bowl cut for a pen and found it. "I want you to sign here…" Gai-Sensei said pointing to the clipboard, "for WHAT?" Neji said angrily.

"For we want to see another sunset" Rock Lee said bitterly, "Tenten will be signing too…" Gai-Sensei said nodding. "Why me? You don't trust me?" Tenten said shocked, "Of course not! It's just regulation" Gai-Sensei said chuckling nervously.

"But Gai-Sensei I thought you said-" Rock Lee was clamped up by Gai-Sensei's hand, Tenten just narrowed her eyes her eyes murderously at them as she turned around.

"Gai-Sensei" Rock Lee hissed at him as he watched Gai-Sensei clutch his hand angrily muttering: _It's always the quiet ones…_

"Hmm" Neji said as he signed the contract, "and here" Gai-Sensei said pointing to it. Neji sighed and signed that too, "And HERE" Gai-Sensei yelled as he pointed to another spot.

Neji let out a frustrated sigh as he signed it yet again, "Don't think you're done yet boy," Gai-Sensei said turning the page. Neji glared angrily at him, "Your done" Gai-Sensei said in a quiet voice as he leaned back in his seat.

"Okay, I can do this" Neji said quietly, Tenten put her hand kindly on his shoulder "It's okay Neji, I know you can do it" Tenten told him happily.

"Don't touch me!" Neji snapped, "Nothing gives you that right" Neji told her as Tenten slowly removed her hand from his shoulder terrified.

"It's always the quiet ones" Neji muttered as he started up the car, "Hmm" Neji said as he started it up slowly the car started to move. He was doing well so far…so far so good, but then he came to a fork in the road.

"Go left" Gai-Sensei told Neji, Neji just stopped all of a sudden. "Left" Gai-Sensei said again, "Ummm…" Neji said nervously. "What's his problem?" Gai-Sensei said confused. "He doesn't know the diff between Left and right" Tenten sang evilly, "You're supposed to be QUIET" Neji snapped at her.

"…Your joking right?" Gai-Sensei said as he took a look at Rock Lee who shook his head solemnly, "Holy Kunai! It's like ABC" Gai-Sensei said in disbelief.

"Doesn't know it EITHER!" Tenten sang again, "Now your just lying" Gai-Sensei said angrily as he looked at Rock Lee who shook his head again.

"I do TOO know my ABC's!" Neji said bitterly, "sing it" Tenten said smirking. "FINE!" Neji said as he took a deep breath and started singing off-key.

When you think your all alone 

_Then you hear a moan and groan _

_A B C D E _

_The crazy man is after me _

_F H I J _

_Now I'm really going to pay _

_K L M N _

_I'm backed into the den_

_O P Q R _

_He reaches me from a far _

_S T U V _

_I try to stab him with my key _

_W X Y Z _

_Now I know my ABC _

_The bad man won't come AFTER me! _

Neji finished singing, "WHO THE HELL TAUGHT YOU THAT?" Gai-Sensei yelled. "Hinata's father, taught me it himself" Neji said proudly that a Main member had taught him that.

"How did you pass PRE SCHOOL with that?" Gai-Sensei said shocked, "They said that I was creative or something like that" Neji said confused. "Didn't you notice the other kids were singing something different?" Gai-Sensei asked him.

"Hiashi told me they were idiots, and I sang the right version" Neji piped up, "didn't anyone ELSE tell you it was right?" Gai-Sensei asked him.

"Rock Lee and Tenten" Neji told him, Gai-Sensei gave his two students a shocked look then Neji shrugged and turned around, he knew he was right.

Gai-Sensei gave Rock Lee high five, "Nice one, and boy!" Gai-Sensei hissed at him as tears came flowing from his eyes, "you make me proud" Gai-Sensei added to that.

Tenten giggled but was upset she didn't get a reward or anything nice like a high five, it was unfair really…she wanted REVENGE!

"I still can't believe Hiashi would DO something like that" Gai-Sensei said shaking his head sadly, poor Neji…who knew what else fucked up things that Hiashi had filled into his head.

"Haha…you should hear about Father Duck" Rock Lee said snickering, "Father…wait what?" Gai-Sensei said confused. "It's a messed up version of Mother Goose" Rock Lee whispered as Hiashi suddenly made Gai-Sensei feel bad. He had caused Neji so much misery and filled his mind with crap, how jealous Gai-Sensei was that it wasn't HIM who corrupted Neji's mind…then again he did a number on Rock Lee's fashion sense.

"I guess since Neji is too…let's just say much too messed up for something like driving" Gai-Sensei said with a sigh, writing IC (Incomplete) for Neji. Rock Lee read Neji's grade and asked him: Gai-Sensei, is it true what people say? That teacher's hate giving out bad grades?

"No my boy, tis the very opposite. They find such great pleasure they insist on giving a number on **KDZ**'s Report Card it is a SHOCKER! SHOCKER!" Gai-Sensei yelled, Rock Lee just inched away from Gai-Sensei…he would take advice from ASUMA now; Gai-Sensei was just…nope, not a word for him. Maybe Rock Lee would even start up smoking…

"Anyways, Tenten your up next…" Gai-Sensei said his voice trailing off mysterious as he waved goodbye to the readers.

"Gai-Sensei! Who are you waving too?" Rock Lee said shocked, "You leave that to me" was all Gai-Sensei said as he blew the readers a kiss, did YOU dodge it?

_TO BE CONTINUED…_

**

* * *

KDZ: Yay! I'm done with Neji's lesson! But, I know I shouldn't tell you this but he's going to have a re-test…but no more information! You'll read about it when it comes! Everyone except Rock Lee gets a re-test, wondering WHY? I'll tell you maybe next chapter or after that. Anyways, replies to my reviewers who are my sunshine my only sunshine, okay…I seemed to have broken into song. Anyways, replies. **

Hamstertai: Thanks and yes Hinata hates old people, yes she does. I don't hate them…okay; some of them seriously piss me off. Like that old lady who took the running shoes I was about to buy, and I yelled at her: _When the hell are you ever going to need those?_ So I fought with her and she took a swing at me with her cane. Yup, the old lady was taken away from the mall security's for chasing me down the mall with her cane…and she got arrested too because she took a swing at the cops with her cane too. And got them. I wasn't in trouble because the lady escaped from some home, I dunnoe. Supposedly she picks fights with kids and attacks cops on a regular basis. That was the first time they caught her, guess if she had the shoes she could have gotten away. Thanks for the review.

Back of Beyond: Hinata's crazy but Tenten's crazier…you'll understand what I'm saying in the next chapter! Thanks for the review XD!

_Silverfangedgoddess09_: You reviewed for my twice! Yay! I mean thanks, LOL! Old people are weird but not as weird as that crazy old lady I encountered at the mall (Read my reply for _Hamstertai_ for the story) Sorry for the late update but exams and I wouldn't want to be in the car with anyone from this story, they're driving scares me…but I'm the one who came UP with this, so I scare myself? That's just weird. Anyways, thanks for the reviews!

_Angel6 aka trinigyal_Haha! Thanks for the review and the guy SHOULD have looked in the mirror, I hate that's guy's jacket! I had to make fun of it; I just had too, lol. Thanks for the review, Di! And you passed the Science Exam! WHOOT! WHOOT! (Throws confetti) I hope I passed it too; wait…what the hell am I saying? I know I passed. But, I failed French…and badly too. I screwed up the easy part (2nd part) I put it in PAST TENSE when they asked for PRESENT! Dammit, it's not like I'm going to France anytime soon…or going to have a conversation with someone from France. Unless he's a guy…and he's cute, if he's not cute, he can just take his funny accent and his cheese and leave me alone. Thanks for the review! Do you think they give Re-Exams?

13thShadowKnight: Sorry for the late update and I hope here's another kick ass chapter but I'm afraid that alphabet song was lame, but I had to come up with one and fast so…yea. Anyways, thanks for the review!

MissxRae: Haha! I like the dream sequence too! One of my favorite chapters! Thanks for the review and hope you like this chapter too!

_RinSohma_: Haha, lol! I hope this gives you comfort driving scares me now, LOL! Aw, Neji couldn't drive today…but he'll have a retest like in 3-4 chapters. So more Neji-kun, but I guess he didn't drive for any reason I mean…it's for our entertainment! That's a reason! LOL! Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!

THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF "Driver's Ed: Naruto Style" Chapter 4: Tenten's Revenge! Review please!

--- _KarmaDreamz_


	5. Tenten's REVENGE! Part 1

**KDZ**: I'm updating as fast as I can…just wondering where I'm GOING with this chapter that's all, Haha. Tenten is a VERY generic character; you don't know ANYTHING about her. That's why she's one of my favorite people to write about…but EVERY time I mention her, she turns into a psychopath! But, I like her that way…I hope you do too! So here's chapter 5! Tenten's REVENGE! PART 1

Disclaimer: Yea, I don't own Naruto…if I did, well let's just say you better be glad I don't. Hinata would be a psychopath, Tenten would be a psychopath, and Neji would a psychopath see where I'm going with this?

Warning: I'm not saying OOC because it's hurtful, I'm trying to make the characters be all they can be…running over old people, getting arrested ya know…and this is also why the Konoha doesn't have cars. And, you can't SAY OOC if you know _jack _about Tenten…this could very damn well be true!

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style 

Chapter 5: Tenten's REVENGE! PART 1

* * *

"Gai-Sensei…I have to share something with you" Rock Lee said getting out of the car. Gai-Sensei had told them to take five…Neji was trying out the hand trick where if your left hand makes an _L_ it's your LEFT hand. (**KDZ**: I tried it…it works)

Tenten, was quiet…what the hell were you expecting? Her to go insane…

"Of course Rock Lee, I expect ALL my students to tell me every one of their youthful secrets…like how they can't even tell LEFT from RIGHT" Gai-Sensei said shaking his head shocked, who knew?

"He's a fighting prodigy they said nothing about no math or English" Rock Lee pointed out, "But I mean the basics" Gai-Sensei said with a sigh.

"All you need is a heart of gold and being able to shake your booty like it's no tomorrow when a good song comes on the radio…that's all you need to become a Ninja" Rock Lee said nodding solemnly. "We ALL know you're the best of the best, you can shake it like it's never been shook before. And for that I congratulate you" Gai-Sensei said clapping.

Tenten glared at Rock Lee angrily as he started to do the electric slide for Gai-Sensei, envious of his dancing skills.

"Let me see you one-two step" Gai-Sensei sang, "Here we go!" Rock Lee yelled as he did the one-two step.

"Let me see you one-two step! I love it when you one-two step! Everybody one-two step, we about to get it on" Gai-Sensei said joining him.

Tenten's teeth bore angrily, if only SHE could dance like no tomorrow! Oh how jealous she was of Rock Lee's dancing skills, dancing was one of the fundamentals of being a Ninja. That everyone knew!

"Do the Rock-a wear" Rock Lee said doing the worm on the floor, "No! Do the Rock-a LEE!" Gai-Sensei said laughing at his own pun.

"Let's Groove tonight!" Gai-Sensei sang, as Rock Lee started to waltz…by himself too! Oh how good was he!

"Have a spice of life," Rock Lee sang doing the Carlton dance (**KDZ**: Fresh Prince of Bellaire for those who don't know…), Tenten fumed as she walked away from them.

Neji was smiling happily, something he rarely did…he had figured out how to tell left from right! Oh how joyous this moment was, it was going down in Hyuuga history that is for sure!

Tenten was angry yet again! This surely was not fair! I mean that idiot didn't know left from right (**KDZ**: Hey! I didn't call Neji-kun an idiot…Tenten did! I LOVE YOU NEJI! Ahem! Back to the story) and people STILL loved him!

Grr…and Gai-Sensei! Well, she didn't have a reason to hate him…but his outrageously gay outfit and people still liked him…to a point. A very small… very fine point.

She had a reason to hate them all! Even the Uchiha boy, he was the biggest bitch in Konoha yet people groveled at his feet. And what did Tenten get from being NICE?

NOTHING! Absolutely NOTHING! For Gods sake, she didn't get a last name! That's just how under appreciated she really was, I mean even a dumb one would be okay…but NOTHING!

Tenten wanted revenge, and what a better way then to take it out on her precious team. Tenten started laughing manically, until Neji threw a rock as it hit her in her face.

"Shut up two-two! I'm concentrating" Neji spat out angrily, "TENTEN! MY NAME IS TENTEN!" Tenten shrieked angrily.

"Whatever Three-three" Neji said with an angry sigh going back to his hands, "TENTEN!" she shrieked again.

"Oh, Rock Lee…what was it you wanted to talk about?" Gai-Sensei said as he started to do the monkey, "Oh…yeah, Tenten's out of her fucking mind" Rock Lee said casually as he started to Milkshake.

"It's always the quiet ones" Gai-Sensei said in a murderous tone, as he started to shake his torso rumba style. "I went to her house once" Rock Lee said to hum '_crazy in love_' as he shook his booty.

"Hmm?" Gai-Sensei said confused doing the alligator as Rock Lee told him his gruesome tale…

"I went to her house because well Tenten and I used to be friends a while ago, we still are…I hope. She of course was VERY hesitant to the fact I wanted to go to her room, what was in there that she was hiding? I mean what was there to HIDE?" Rock Lee said tangoing with Gai-Sensei as he told him his tale.

"Ah, that is a question I ask myself everyday I see Kakashi…what the hell is that man have to hide?" Gai-Sensei said as Rock Lee dipped him.

"As what I said as I walked into her room…it was DISGUSTING! There were daggers, knives, disembodied dolls…OH GOD! IT WAS SICK I TELL YOU SICK!" Rock Lee sobbed as Gai-Sensei stopped dancing.

"I see…well, I'm sure that those were there because of she's a NINJA!" Gai-Sensei said laughing. "That's…that's exactly what I thought, until I found IT" Rock Lee said shuddering.

"It? What's it?" Gai-Sensei started to tremble in fear, could Rock Lee's tales…be TRUE?

"There was a box…it was covered in Tenten's clothes…" Rock Lee's started to shudder in the thought of the box.

"In Tenten's clothes? Good god…the girl wears the same outfit EVERY DAY!" Gai-Sensei said as if it were a TRUE horror or horrors.

"I know! I mean…it's crazy, she has lots and lots of clothes but they're not touched…I asked her why and she said they were her TRAINING CLOTHES! Like anyone is going to believe that" Rock Lee said rolling his eyes.

"Preach it, Sistah!" Gai-Sensei said happily, sure…talking about Tenten behind her back was fun but WHAT THE HELL WAS IN THAT BOX?

"Anyways, I looked inside the box and saw they were two other boxes inside the box, I mean at first I found that puzzling but inside the boxes were DISTURBING! In one box there was a box of dolls of all the Ninja's of Konoha!" Rock Lee said powerfully.

"What? What's so disturbing about that?" Gai-Sensei said confused, "It was the fact that they all had something missing!" Rock Lee shouted in dismay.

"Maybe she ran out of materials?" Gai-Sensei guessed, "That's what I thought as well until I saw the OTHER box! There was stories about each little doll, I mean US! ALL OF NINJAS! Naruto-kun, Hinata, Asuma-Sensei! ALL OF US!" Rock Lee shrieked in terror.

"Aww" Gai-Sensei said smiling, "About how we lost the missing body part!" Rock Lee shrieked at him. "Now THAT'S fucked up," Gai-Sensei said shocked.

"I mean the stories were like _Asuma's last smoke_, _I'm wishing of a Legless Neji-kun Christmas_, _Chouji's final meal_, _Underneath the Underneath: A Kakashi Story_ and other titles!" Rock Lee said fast.

"Holy Kunai…" Gai-Sensei said as his eyes were literally about to pop out of it's sockets, "And that's when I found out! That Tenten was TRULY out of her fucking mind!" Rock Lee said nodding.

"HIYA!" came a voice behind them, "AHHH!" they yelled as Gai-Sensei jumped into Rock Lee's arms.

"Sorry to scare you! It's just me!" Tenten said smiling, "What the hell do you mean it's just _YOU_?" Gai-Sensei said disgusted.

"I'm ready to tell you I'm up and ready for the Driving Lesson!" Tenten said happily, "NO!" they shouted at the same time.

"What was that?" Tenten said shocked, "Oh but you must let me drive…you must…" Tenten's voice turned to a psychotic high-pitched squeak.

"Take the fucking keys! Just take 'em!" Gai-Sensei said sobbing, as he gave her the keys.

"Gai-Sensei…your hands are shaking…are you alright, we wouldn't want you to freeze your hands off now would we?" Tenten said reaching for his hands but he threw the keys over her shoulder.

"FETCH, CRAZY!" Gai-Sensei yelled, "That was an unauthorized Biography!" Tenten snapped angrily.

"Well I'm just going to get the keys and wait for you too in the car! I'm SOOOO excited! This is going to be one HELL of a ride!" Tenten said laughing manically as she grabbed the keys.

"Rock Lee…if your tale is true, what was our story called?" Gai-Sensei said afraid. Rock Lee went into his pocket and pulled out three coffins, his hands were shaking as he handed them to him.

Gai-Sensei stared at the mini coffins, which said _Hyuuga Neji,_ _Rock Lee_, _Maito Gai_

He opened up to see tiny little mangled versions of them; "AHHH" Gai-Sensei yelled as he saw their eyebrows had been shaved off horribly.

"Our story was called…_how I killed my Teammates in a car and other funny tales_," Rock Lee said shuddering.

"How is that FUNNY?" Gai-Sensei said disgusted, "Well it's not funny HAHA" Rock Lee said rolling his eyes.

They heard a the ignition start and a loopy grin on Tenten's face, "C'MON IN! THE FUN IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!" Tenten yelled to them.

**

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KDZ: (Starts giggling psychotically) Isn't Tenten SOOOOO cool in MY story? Isn't she like the greatest in MY story? Isn't she? Isn't she? Isn't she? Ok…I have a huge ego today and ice cream cake…ego AND sugar have never been two good things for me…so, I'll just reply to my SUPERGRANDGREATFABULISTIC…KY…that's not a word, anyways! So I'm just going to reply to my reviewers'…right.**

_Topaz Talyn:_ Haha Thanks! Kurenai always really reminded me of a Vampire…the pale skin, the dark hair, the red eyes, the attitude…doesn't it just scream "Vampire"? Anyways, thanks for the review!

_RinSohma_: Yea, Neji drove…but he's going to drive again later, so more Neji-kun driving madness! You liked the ABC song? Thank you! I had to make it up on the spot, 'cuz I wrote this chapter for this story I never posted 'cuz I deleted it by accident and am much to lazy to re-write it even though it was brilliance. But, the song was in one of the chapters…so, I guess it wasn't on the spot…if you didn't notice but I used your hand idea for the chapter and the hands off the wheel to check, Heh. Very clever! This chapter wasn't exactly exciting…next chapter, should be kind of scary but I try for funny. Thanks for the review!

_Crazy Al-Bhed-Girl_: LOL! Thank you! The first chapter is one of my personal favs! Haha, yes, Rock Lee and Gai-Sensei are the best, but will they SURVIVE the next chapter? Tune in for the next episode of DRAGON BALL Z (Starts coughing) I mean Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! Thanks for the review!

_DragonStorm85_:

Silverfangedgoddess09: LOL! Haha, didn't know that chapter was so funny Oh, she was scary…very scary, and a carton of yogurt? ROTFL! That's hilarious well as long as your not the person it's getting thrown at, it's funny. Haha! Thanks, it's good that people love my fic! It's one of my favorites that I have written; I usually write mindless drivel only intended to make people laugh! Glad it's working! LOL! Cha, I updated for chocolate…didn't know I could be bribed so easily, LOL! Thanks for the review!

And Angel6, I already replied to you.

So, Tenten's REVENGE Part 2 should be coming soon when I get a brain blast, and a funny idea to base the chapter on! So thanks for the reviews, keep bring them in and I update as fast as I can! So, review please!

--- _KarmaDreamz_


	6. Chapter 6

**KDZ:** Yea…people seem to love the fact I made Tenten insane, but I mean maybe I'm wrong ya know, maybe she's normal (Starts snickering) Haha! Who am I kidding? I mean does _how I killed my teammates in a car and other funny stories _sound NORMAL to you? You might get angry about this but I was done this chapter at the same time of the Chapter 5…I was just so disappointed at how this chapter sucked so bad, I didn't want to post it…but I'm going to have to…it's extra long because of the extra long wait…

Disclaimer: Hmmmm, I don't know what's the square root of .873088372521; can I get an easier question? How about the question like "Does KDZ own Naruto?" I would have to answer that with No.

Warning: Tenten's creepiness and depressing…ness may affect you, but if your willing to risk that to see Tenten go mad, dare I say "READ ON!" oh, and there's swearing in this chapter! But it's the SONG not me! This chapter also is pretty dumb…

**Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! **

Chapter 6: Tenten's REVENGE! Part 2!

* * *

"Gai-Sensei! Please! Don't make me goooo!" Rock Lee begged Gai-Sensei knowing if he went into that car, they would never see another sunset!

"Oh my Rock Lee! I'm sorry, but …we must go! For we must stop the doll wielding, storyteller of doom named TENTEN…_Tenten_…what the hell is that girl's last name?" Gai-Sensei said confused.

"I don't know, probably something messed up" Rock Lee said shuddering in fear, "What about Neji? We have yet to warn him of the deadly Tenten!" Gai-Sensei said scared.

BEEP! BEEP!

"LET'S GO THIS DRIVING LESSON IS TAKING FOREVER!" Neji yelled angrily slamming on the horn. He was in the front seat with Tenten, Rock Lee was relived it wasn't HIM there.

Who knew what she would do to the person in the front seat, "Neji's in the front seat!" Gai-Sensei said shocked.

"Well what do you expect? _US_ to die first?" Rock Lee said laughing, "Oh yea…but it ALL depends on whom **KDZ** loves more…me, you, or Neji…" Gai-Sensei's voice started to tremble.

"Shall we face death together, Gai-Sensei?" Rock Lee's eyes brimmed with tears, "If we don't hurry up…she'll get angry and assume we don't want to get in the car with her" Gai-Sensei said in a shaky voice.

"We _want_ to get in the car with her?" Rock Lee said confused, "If we want to live," Gai-Sensei said as they ran to the car in the sunset.

"Gai-Sensei why is the sunset there for us?" Rock Lee said running to the car, "Never question the sunset, my boy…never question" Gai-Sensei said as they reached the car.

She stared at them innocently from the car window, they stared back…wondering how the fcuk did such a cute girl go SO wrong?

Oh well, they both thought as they slid into the cars…they didn't know wearing what they wore they were going make it this far anyways.

Tenten started the car, as the two in the back started to whimper slightly…it was unfair! Why'd they have to die like this?

She started the car, and Gai-Sensei noticed Rock Lee's grip on his arm. He also noticed Neji (Who was so innocent not knowing about Tenten's evil ways) and prayed.

"Please Santa Claus…let my students the Beautiful Blue Beast of Konoha and Freaky-Eye Neji survive, they deserve to live…Poor Dances like the Wind Rock Lee and Long Haired Hippy-freak Neji, they don't deserve this pain. So I beg of you, let them survive" Gai-Sensei prayed.

Rock Lee stared at Gai-Sensei as Gai-Sensei let out a:

"Whelp! I've done all I can" Gai-Sensei said shrugging, starting to accept the idea of death.

Rock Lee got worried. He didn't want to die; there was so much he had yet to do! Grow a chef-like mustache that curled on the ends, but apparently he had been advised against it numerous times but there really WAS no stopping him…

He hadn't had a chance to tell Gai-Sensei how much he really loved him…like a father. Screw his own dad, no one's cooler than Gai-Sensei, accept everyone else's dad. (**KDZ**: Everyone is cooler than Gai-Sensei but no one is cooler than Gai-Sensei…makes no sense? Good.)

The only thing that Rock Lee could do was calling the cops on his cell phone, _oh_ cell phones you ask?

Rock Lee pulled out his pink cell phone, and smiled at it lovingly it was equipped with the ring tone 'Barbie Girl' by Aqua.

"What the hell is a cell phone doing in Konoha? Don't we use scrolls?" Gai-Sensei said confused. "Oh, you think that Imma gonna write an scroll, ask Tenten to stop the car and let me send someone to give it to ANBU through snail mail and expect them to come SOON? This is a VERY important part of the story," Rock Lee yelled angrily.

"God, okay! Jeez, I was just wondering" Gai-Sensei said pouting, Rock Lee punched in the number 9-1-1

"Uhh…try 9-1-1-1" Gai-Sensei said suspiciously, "what?" Rock Lee said waiting for the phone to ring. Gai-Sensei whipped out his green cellphone with the turtle skin cover, Rock Lee gasped in horror. "Shhh! This is a Jounins' secret! Only Jounins have cell phones…and apparently you" Gai-Sensei said moodily.

"Wait! How is cell phones a Jounins' secret? Almost everyone has one…" Rock Lee said puzzled.

"Hah! The secret is that only JOUNINS know the real number is 9-1-1-1!" Gai-Sensei said proudly, "no! The number is 9-1-1 Gai-Sensei!" Rock Lee said shaking his head.

"PFFFFT! That's what you think" Gai-Sensei scoffed, "I doubt that-" Suddenly Rock Lee shut up as he got an answer from the phone.

_Person on the other line_: Hello! This is Chang's Chinese! How may I serve you?

_Rock Lee_: Ummm…isn't this 9-1-1?

_Chang_: Yes…how may I serve you?

_Rock Lee_: I don't understand…

_Chang_: What is there to understand? You call me, I cook food, and then I send it to you!

_Rock Lee_: I've…seemed to have the wrong number…

_Chang_: I…KILL YOU! DAH!

Rock Lee hung up the phone shocked, how could he have gotten the wrong number?

"Ahh! Don't feel bad! Only Jounins know the REAL number…and now you…" Gai-Sensei was disappointed that he couldn't keep the secret.

"What about the Chuunins and the Jounins when they need help?" Rock Lee asked Gai-Sensei, "Genins and Chuunins come and go…but Jounins are the heart of Konoha! When OUR precious lives are in danger, we call 9111…when YOURS is in danger you use scrolls…or die" Gai-Sensei said chuckling at how lame that was.

"That's not funny" Rock Lee said punching in the number 9111, "Hello?" The female officer said picking up the phone.

Anyways, Tenten was preparing…well. Not really, just kind of trying to figure out how she was going to dispose of them…she had lost the story! She didn't know how that had happened, but it was gone. Tenten's grip tightened on the wheel, as Neji's singing pounded in her ears.

He was singing some messed up version of Row, Row, and Row your boat…

_Fcuk, Fcuk, Fcuk the duck! _

_Screw the kangaroo! _

_If you know what's good for you_

_You'd fcuk the llama too! _

_At your local zoo! _

"What is Hiashi SMOKING when he comes up with these things?" Gai-Sensei said in awe.

Rock Lee had reported Tenten and hung up his phone.

He wondered when those cops would come and take her away, then again…they were in a moving car, how were they supposed to FIND them? Who knew where she was _going_…but if she had been sane, she surely would have passed the test as well as she was driving! TOO well!

**KDZ**: THE END! The cops come take away Tenten! And that's the end of that! Haha, I'm just joking…back to the story!

Tenten just wondered what she was going too do with the bodies, how she hated them! Then suddenly she heard sirens from behind, "WE'RE SAVED!" Gai-Sensei shouted.

"Saved? My singing isn't that bad" Neji pouted angrily, "You WISH!" Tenten growled angrily as she slammed on the ignition heatedly.

"MAMA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Rock Lee shrieked in horror as Tenten zoomed off.

**

* * *

Back with Kurenai-Sensei and her students…**

"It's not SO bad being arrested you guys! I mean hello? We got to be chauffeured all the way to downtown Konoha! We got to meet new people! Like the officers…the judge…the bailiff…the guy that spat on Kiba…the Konoha Cow Rapist…" Kurenai's voice trailed off.

"That guy was just SICK" Kiba said angrily, "hey! So what if he finds cows sexy? Look at the way you look at dogs" Kurenai said with a scowl.

"I was talking about the guy who spat at me…" Kiba said quietly, "Oh…" Kurenai muttered.

"SHUT UP, HINATA!" Shino shouted angrily at Hinata, "You talkin' to me, punk?" Hinata growled angrily.

"See? It's WONDERFUL how Hinata came out of her shy shell, since she's been in the slammer" Kurenai sighed happily as she watched Hinata run shrieking in horror, as Shino ran after her with a cockroach in his hand.

"I…GUESS" Kiba said as he watched Hinata faint as Shino had this creepy smile on his face. "Oh boy…" Kiba muttered as he watched Shino trying to slide bugs into Hinata's sleeve.

"WHAT are you doing?" Kurenai yelled as he was sliding in some potato bugs. "Dumb…dumb…dumb…Hinata…you no want bugs in your body? You say is nasty…I put them in by force…" Shino said twitching nervously as he tried to put ants down her shirt.

"Man…that's more messed up than that Shakira' video…what was it called again?" Kiba asked Kurenai, "Don't Bother" Kurenai said snickering.

"Ok! So…I guess we go back to the car chase?" Shino asked them, "Oh yea" Kurenai said laughing.

**

* * *

BACK WITH THE FREAKS!**

"EHMAGAWD!" Gai-Sensei yelled as he stared at all the dead cows, she had driven them to the farm.

"How COULD you? They were INNOCENT cows!" Rock Lee sobbed, Tenten just sighed with disgust.

The Konoha Cow Rapist just started hugging the cows "don't take them away from me! They love me! I love them!" he cried out.

"You are despicable" Neji said angrily, "how about your little female friend, eh? She hit and run all the farmers," T.K.C.R. pointed out.

"SO? They were FARMERS! But these are COWS! With feelings and a heart! And…really man, Farmers are away from civilization for a _reason_" Neji said shaking his head sadly. "Not ALL Farmers though, just the ones here in Konoha…they're freaks, dude" Rock Lee said with a sad laugh.

"EHMAGAWD!" Gai-Sensei shouted again, "what?" Neji said pissed off. "These are SPECIAL cows!" Gai-Sensei said pointing to the sign.

"Indeed they are" T.K.C.R. said rubbing the cow. "THEY ARE BYAKOW!" Gai-Sensei yelled.

"Can you stop yelling?" Tenten hissed angrily. "RIIIGHT! Anyways, these are cows with Byakugan" Gai-Sensei said nodding.

"Yes man, they're eyes just turn me on" The Rapist said giggling, as Neji whipped on a pair of sunglasses.

"In memory of the Byakow! I insist that you forgive us," Rock Lee told Tenten, "forgive you? FORGIVE YOU? After what you've DONE to me?" Tenten shrieked angrily.

"I didn't do nothing to you" Neji muttered, "oh but you DID! No one ever cared about TENTEN! It was always about Freaky eyes or Freaky eyebrows! No one gave a damn that I never missed anything! NOOOOO! It was always, EHMAGAWD! Rock Lee went through another freaking barrier! EHMAGAWD! Neji can do that weird spinning attack! It was _never_ EHMAGAWD! Look, Tenten can throw a kunai good!" Tenten shouted at them.

"Everything has to be about Two-two" Neji spat angrily, "SHADDUP! THIS IS MY FRIGGIN' TIME TO SHINE!" Tenten shrieked.

"Look Three…I mean Tenten, we will TRY to recognize you more if that's what you want" Rock Lee said softly touching her elbow. "Don't touch me," Tenten snapped.

"We are sorry Tenten that we don't give a damn about you" Gai-Sensei said sadly, "it's just you're SOOOO boring! But now that we know you're a psychopath, I can write about you in my books" Gai-Sensei said happily.

"Gai-Sensei…you write…_too_?" Tenten said her eyes shining happily, "Oh yes! Gai-Sensei has a large variety of books!" Rock Lee said he pulled out three books from nowhere.

'"Why is Neji so _mean_? A Gai-Sensei autobiography about his troubles with the insane Hyuuga child" Rock Lee said handing her a book.

"What?" Neji said shocked, "Beyond the endless eyes! A book about Gai-Sensei's hatred towards Neji Hyuuga! It was nominated for Uchiha family picks and it was created into a movie worldwide" Rock Lee said handing her the book.

"Hey!" Neji said offended, "How can it be the Uchiha family picks, if only that Sasuke guy picks?"

"It's not like Sasuke has _friends_ or anything, he has time to read" Gai-Sensei said shrugging.

"And his latest book! Hinata Hyuuga, the newest evil! This book was very impressive about how messed up Hinata Hyuuga really is! And have you SEEN what she's done to old people everywhere? My god, it was a bloody massacre!" Rock Lee said shuddering.

"WOW! I didn't know you were so COOL" Tenten said flipping through the book, "Don't you think you're stretching it a little…by a LOT?" Neji said amazed she thought GAI-SENSEI was cool.

"Oh yes, you'd be amazed at the stories I've written when that stupid little idiot pisses me off" Gai-Sensei said in a confident voice.

"HAHAHAHAHA! Orochimaru really is a lot like Michael Jackson" Tenten said snickering reading the book, "What's THAT supposed to mean?" Rock Lee said angrily. Rock Lee was a hardcore Michael Jackson fan!

"Heyyyy, you have some shexy eyes," The Konoha Cow Rapist slurred at Neji, "…" Neji scurried behind a tree hoping he wouldn't find him.

"NOWWWWWWW! I think it's time to end another boring chapter," Neji yelled from up the tree, as the cow killer was jumping up and down trying to get up to the Hyuuga.

"What? You want to have you're cake and eat it too?" Gai-Sensei said shocked, "If I effing had a cake, I wouldn't clean the floor with it" Neji shot back.

"That's it!" Gai-Sensei said as he whipped out his notepad and started writing furiously.

"W…whatcha…whatcha writing?" Neji said suspiciously as Neji jumped to where Gai-Sensei was standing. "NOTHING" Gai-Sensei said defensively.

Gai-Sensei turned around, so Neji couldn't see. "Lemme see!" Neji said trying to see the notebook. "No" Gai-Sensei said as he kept giving Neji looks and writing in the notepad.

"…Psst! Rock Lee! What is he writing about me?" Neji asked Rock Lee, Rock Lee sighed as he took the notebook from Gai-Sensei. "NOOOOOO!" Gai-Sensei yelled upset.

**WHAT'S HOT AND WHAT'S JUST NOT **

**In **

Tenten

Rock Lee

Wheat grass Juice

KarmaDreamz

Naked Mole rats

Hiashi's new book "Father Duck"

**Out **

Neji Hyuuga

Hinata Hyuuga

Old people

Cow Rapists

9-1-1

Sasuke Uchiha

"I am SO hot!" Neji said angrily, "Ain't that the truth" The Konoha Cow rapist said winking seductively at the Hyuuga boy.

Choking sounds were heard behind them, as Gai-Sensei's crew and the cow dude turned around.

"WHERE THE HELL ARE THE COWS?" Chouji shrieked in horror, Asuma had taken his students to the farm.

Ino stared at horror at the dead cows all over the place, "COVER YOUR EYES, CHOUJI!" Asuma yelled at him as he saw the dead cows.

"EHMAGAWD!" Chouji shouted in horror, "That _sucks_" Shikamaru said sadly as he poked a dead cow in the eye with a stick.

"I think I'mma gonna go" The Konoha Cow Rapist said sprinting off with Neji, "LET GO OF ME" Neji shrieked.

"Well…my team back to the car" Gai-Sensei said laughing nervously, Tenten and Rock Lee started running towards the car.

"THIS ISN'T FAIR!" Chouji sobbed over a cow's body, "There, there" Asuma said patting him on the back.

"Ya know…this means there won't be any BBQ for a while" Shikamaru said playing drum on a Cow's stomach.

Chouji fell unconscious.

"Stop that" Ino said hitting him, as Shikamaru was knocked unconscious. "Guess it's just you and me" Ino said smiling at Asuma, who looked worried for a second.

He knocked himself unconscious, as Ino just sighed. Alone again…she was more lonely than Sasuke, and he READS!

TO BE CONTINUED…

**

* * *

KDZ: That was my worst chapter EVER! Ah well…I promise the next chapter won't be so bad. It's just I didn't know how to write Action, so I had to substitute that for…a dude that rapes cows? Here are my replies to the reviews! And PLEASE don't flame me about this seriously bad chapter!**

13thShadowKnight: Yea, I know! I didn't know that either, one of my reviewers pointed that out. I was pretty amazed, lol! Yup, Tenten is amazing! Then again, it really is always the quiet ones! Thanks for the review!

Crazy Al-Bhed-Girl: Aww, thank yhu! I wish I really WAS a genius; I could be able to pass Math tests. I should be working on a book report right now…Thanks for the review!

Angelic lily: You like the ABC song? Thanks! I'm glad you like my story, and thanks for the review!

Hyoban: LOL! Well, here ya go! Thanks for the review

Topaz Talyn: I know; it's so sad how it's always the quiet ones…thanks for the review!

DragonStorm85: It was easy to turn her into a psychopath when no one knows anything about her, lol! I didn't pay attention to her episodes, so I REALLY don't know anything about her! Lol, yes but her revenge isn't over JUST yet…thanks for the review!

Kelse: Sorry for the late update, and sadly they are still alive…thanks for the review!

Hiei-Is-Mine: then…scream it? Thanks for the review!

FriendofNaruto: Thanks! And glad you found the fifth chapter! Thanks for the review!

Angel6 aka trinigyal: LOL! Yhu dun have 2 pretend yhu read ze chappy yha know, lol. So what's up? How's yhur break? Mine has been the snore of all snores! And I'm REALLY mad! Ya know Carl from that show Carl squared? HOW THE HELL IS HE THE SAME AGE AS ME? I DEMAND AN ANSWER! I mean do you effing SEE the adventures he has? I'm freaking writing a book report and he has wacky adventures? Well, I think this break has meh thinkin' too much. Anyways, thanks for the review!

RinSohma: Oh yea, the first rule of being a ninja is to be able to dance! It is clever; I plan to use it soon…if you don't mind of course! Thanks for the review!

CrazyInsaneAnimeFanGirl: Gai-Sensei's books? LOL! I'm sorry; I'm kind of slow. Which story are you talking about? And thanks for the review!

Gohan209: Lmao! Glad yhu like it so much! Thanks for the reviews!

Silverfangedgoddess09: LOL! My story has never been called "freakishly awesome", cool. Yea; I'mma pretty proud of my word inventing skills, lol. Thanks for thanks for the review!

Guardian Angel21: LOL! Haha, thanks for the review!

That is the end of the review corner! And did I mention how this story is comin' to an end? Ohhhh, I'mma going to miss this story…but it happens; every story has to come to an end, right? Jeez, I can't believe **one **more chapter…anyways reviews please!


	7. Drunken Rage! The last Chapter!

**KDZ**: SOOOO sorry I didn't update sooner, and I've been getting angry e-mails! I've been kind of busy, plz forgive me, kk? Luv yah ALL!

Disclaimer: I don't own ANY of the Naruto characters, but I own sadness since this is the last chapter! This is my favorite story too!

Attention: Warning! School teachers, Nuts, Hankercheifed men, Chain smoking macho men, have been harmed in the making of this chapter!

Drivers Ed: Naruto Style! 

Chapter 7: Drunken Rage! The last chapter!

Rock Lee let out a small cough, his throat hurt a bit. He was getting a bit of a cold, and everyone knew when you were sick you needed fluids! Just like everyone knew that EVERY ninja had to know how to shake their booty!

Rock Lee looked around for some substance that could help him, and immediately saw Gai-Sensei's water bottle.

Rock Lee snatched it and finished the whole bottle in one gulp, as the door was slammed open by his teammates.

"We're back…with muffins" Neji sighed as he stepped into the car; it seemed as if this stupid lesson was NEVER going to end!

Tenten dragged herself into the car; she had been forgiven for the…rampage? Since it was only farmers, like _really_…

The cop had been _very_ suspicious about the sudden death of farmers and had been asking around if anyone knew anything about it, Gai-Sensei had blamed it on the lack of fish and chips.

"Did you say fish and chips?" the cop said shocked, "NOOOO! IT JUST ISN'T FAIR!" Chouji yelled running off the cliff, which Konoha seemed to have a lot of.

"Chouji, you fat ass!" Shikamaru yelled, going after him.

"Did those kids just jump over that cliff" the cop said in disbelief, "have a muffin" Gai-Sensei stuffed the muffin in the guy's face.

"MUONFSOBALFNONSFE" the man let out, "yeah…I love you too?" Gai-Sensei said patting him on his back.

But you see…things weren't going as well for the other teachers…

_Back wit Tsunade _

"WHY HAVEN'T ANY OF THE STUDENTS COMPLETED A FREAKING DRIVING LESSON" Tsunade shrieked at them.

The Sensei's kept quiet…they were ashamed of themselves…not only for actually knowing Gai-Sensei's birthday and acknowledging him of existing but for the sad fact that they had disappointed their Hokage.

"What about your students, Kurenai?" Tsunade hissed at the vampire, "I…I don't know! They just…WAAAAAAH" Kurenai burst into tears.

"You know Asuma? That Ninja's are no longer permitted into the BBQ bonanzas…we now have to send COMMENERS to get BARBEQUE? EMBARASSING!" Tsunade shot at them.

"I know" Asuma hung his head, he had been shooed away from the BBQ bonanza when he had been thinking about having a BBQ…'course Gai-Sensei might just invite himself again but like whatever, right? And it was REALLY awkward when Iruka was there, like _really_…who invited that guy? All he does is talk about his old students!

Not that they cared about his students miss-adventures of when they were younger or how Sakura got bubble-gum stuck in her hair when she was three years old and it never got out. Like what the Frick? He met Sakura when she was 10! Get a life!

"What about you Kakashi? What have you to say about your kids?" Tsunade snapped at the poor guy who thought he was cool and would be cool if he didn't act so cool all the time…get it? Good, 'cuz neither did the author when she wrote that 8)

"They're too…_emotionally unstable_ to be driving" Kakashi said trying to put it lightly as lightly as he could.

"Emotionally unstable? Sure Sasuke reads but c'mon that's a little harsh" Asuma said standing up for the little kids.

"PSSH! Have you spent a freaking afternoon with those freaks? It's always! I'm the better, better, best! I hate the three minute wait of ramen-Sakura, love me! Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke! Kakashi-Sensei, where have you been you just said you were going for a small walk it's been months! BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!" Kakashi ranted.

"You better not let that freak Iruka hear you talking about his kids that way…jeez, you know how weird that guy is…WAY too emotional!" Kurenai said wiping away her tear-stained face. "Yeah…you're one to talk" Baki said sarcastically.

"Hey! When'd you get here?" Kakashi said amazed, "I was always here…" Baki said with a sigh, nobody really notices him probably 'cuz he covers his face with a handkerchief.

The handkerchief used to be pink, and then it got red with the bloodstains when kids used to beat him up for his gay handkerchief. So, he decided to settle for an ugly one. Not the cute pink one he had with the cute little ducky on it, he called it sir-quack-a lot. No one he got his ass kicked.

Suddenly an annoying shrieking noise had cut in with Baki's thoughts; he turned to see Asuma trying to close the blinds. "She's close" Asuma whispered in a raspy voice.

"HIDE ME!" Asuma yelled as he dove behind Tsunade's golden throne, like no wonder she was behind on debts!

"ASUMA-SENSEI!" Ino yelled as she ran into the room, and took a hard look at everyone in the room and noticed her Sensei just wasn't there.

Ino cursed under her breath and ran out of the classroom, "Dodged the blonde wench again! Whoot!" Asuma said happily as he crawled from under Tsunade's leg's who looked a little pissed off at his actions.

"Not like I'm gonna peek at some 100 something's woo-woo" Asuma said as he got slammed by Tsunade's golden scepter.

"Well it's true…" Asuma muttered as he rubbed his head.

"It's time to stop talking about my woo-woo and start talking about business" Tsunade said putting on her serious, it was like her constipated face but with her eyebrows bunched together so they knew she meant business and not Pepto Bismo!

_Back with Rock Lee and group…_

Rock Lee felt a little buzz as he started up the car, and couldn't really see anything but he decided not to let that get to him. This was his chance to show he wasn't a screw up like Three-Three and Neji!

Ok! Let's put the metal to the freaking pedal" e said as he flashed the side mirror a smile that went, PING! Turned on the music to hear lean wit it, rock wit it. (I only said that song 'cuz I'm listening to it now)

"PULL UP YOUR JEANS, SMOKE SOME GREEN" Rock Lee sang as he slammed on the pedal.

"What are jeans?" Gai-Sensei said pulling on his spandex, they were riding up to places he didn't even knew he had.

"You know gangsters, just say anything don't matter if it makes sense as long as it rhymes with the following word" Rock Lee said in a extremely fast manner.

"Can you slow down, Rock Lee! You might" Gai-Sensei was cut off by a slight crash. "What the hell was that?" Neji said waking up; Rock Lee slid out of the car and let out a manly cry of pain.

"Please just let it be a farmer, please just let it be a farmer" Gai-Sensei said once again begging into the heavens.

"Who cares? It was just a stinking squirrel!" Neji said rolling his eyes as he stood in front of the car, "MAMA NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Rock Lee sobbed. He betrayed his friends!

"It's just a fricken squirrel, jeez! Get over it, weirdo" Neji said as he gave his a small kick. But, Rock Lee was sobbing as he stared at the road kill.

"Rock Lee, I'll treat you to a big bowl of bubblegum ice cream and you can put nuts on them" Gai-Sensei said trying to console him. "WAAAH, I bet the squirrel liked nuts! Of course he did, he's a freaking squirrel WAAAAH" Rock Lee sobbed.

"It's ok, but you need to finish your lesson! I mean I need at least someone to finish their lesson! It'll be so embarrassing" Gai-Sensei wailed as he stared at his uncompleted yellow clipboard, which he had picked out especially for these lessons.

"I'm NEVER driving again!" Rock Lee said as he stared at the squirrel, "I owe it to Nuts" Rock Lee said showing them the dead squirrel in outstretched hands.

"Nuts? I can't believe the freak named it" Neji said angrily staring at the red colored squirrel, "because squirrels like nuts, right? Cute" Gai-Sensei said smiling at the squirrel.

"Nope, 'cuz of its package" Rock Lee said pointing to the squirrels…private parts.

"Ohhhhh…that's creepy…" Tenten said looking at the squirrel, "you're one to talk" Gai-Sensei muttered angrily.

"Look, let's just finish this stinking lesson! We've been doing this lesson for gawd knows how many chapters now!" Neji snapped.

"I guess you're right, we've had enough excitement for the day" Gai-Sensei said as he took the keys and drove them all home. Rock Lee petted the squirrel the whole time, Tenten just sat quietly plotting her revenge, and Gai-Sensei kept singing _Check on it_.

"OOOH, YOU SOOO SEXYY BOYYYYY" Gai-Sensei sang, as Neji finished the contents of Gai-Sensei's water bottle.

"LE GASP! No, Neji! That's alcohol" Gai-Sensei gasped, "I know" Neji slurred happily.

Eventually, Gai-Sensei had driven to the Hokage's room. Where the teachers were looking seriously pissed off and finally Gai-Sensei had figured out what had happened.

"SO THAN! HAHAHAA! You're going to LAUGH!" Iruka said laughing; "Naruto spilt his writing ink ALL over Hinata, and she had ink stains on her kimono for the rest of the evening" Iruka was doubling over with laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Asuma said joining him in his laughter, and then slapped Iruka across the face.

"No" Asuma said sternly, as Iruka stood their shocked. "So…what's up, guys?" Gai-Sensei asked them as he looked around at the Sensei's.

"No more driving lessons" Kakashi said with a sigh, "what? But, my students haven't even completed their lessons!" Gai- Sensei said panicking.

"Neither did ours" The teachers said in unison, "I thought you wanted the kids to drive! So, they could be like super ninja's racing in super sexy cars after bad guys" Gai-Sensei's whined.

"I did. And they will." Tsunade said simply, "but I thought you said no more driving lessons" Gai-Sensei said confused. "That is what I said" Tsunade said shrugging. "Um…okay, am I the only one confused here" Gai-Sensei said looking around at the other Sensei's.

"Did you just bitch slap me?" Iruka said finally snapping out of it, "Yeah…whatcha going to do about it, punk?" Asuma said rolling his eyes.

"This!" Iruka said slapping him back, "BITCH!" Asuma said slapping him back. "Whore!" Iruka said clapping him upside his head.

"It's about to be a what?" Kurenai sang, "GIRLFIGHT!" Kakashi and Tsunade yelled. "STOP FIGHTING! WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?" Gai-Sensei yelled.

"Oh, yeah! They'll still be having driving lessons; just you guys aren't going to teach them anymore! So, now can we get back to the cat fight" Tsunade said pointing to the guys who were scratching at each other with their manicures.

"Stop acting like immature school girls" Baki glared, "FCUK YOU, HANDKERCHIEF BOY" Iruka yelled at him. "Oh, NOW it's on" Baki said tackling the school teacher to the floor.

"Wait…so, they'll be more chapters of this story? It thought this would be the last chapter?" Gai-Sensei said confused, "Yah…of the first part, Driver's Ed: Naruto Style Part 2 should be coming out soon! Very soon! So keep on the look out for Part two which you can get if you keep this story on Story Alert" Tsunade said talking to no one really.

"So, I guess this is the end of me teaching driving experience" Gai-Sensei said sadly, "Yeah! But, can we get back to the bitch fight, NOW?" Tsunade said cheering as Iruka took a hit to the stomach. God, that guy was annoying!

"GO BAKIIIIIIIIIIIII!" Tsunade sang happily.

And so ends…Part one ) And to come, the students have to attend a real driving school and that means those lame tests, learning CPR, and so much more! Will these Genins ever get their stinking driving lessons and drive sexy cars chasing after bad guys? Well…I guess we'll all have to wait and see, eh?

--- _KarmaDreamz_

REPLY TO MY LOVELY REVIEWERS!

Gaara-Chibi: LOL! Thanks for the funny review!

Suzuyuki: Aw, thank you! And thanks for the review too!

Gohan209: In my opinion it was pretty bad, LOL! Thanks for saying the chapter was good! I'm glad people actually liked that chapter; I thought I wasn't going to get any reviews for it. Thanks for the review, it really cheered me up!

RinSohma: I can't hear it either, LOL! But, I have a feeling it's pretty bad! Sorry for the late update, hope you can forgive me? Thanks for the review and hoped you like this chapter!

BasicallyAnIdiot: LMFAO! Poor chair. Thanks for the review!

Kelsey: I know! I always thought that about Sidewalk chalk, LOL! I tried to get a six year old to eat the chalk to tell me if it was true but she wouldn't. Gai-Sensei and Rock Lee aren't scared of Tenten anymore, I guess… )

Shanghai Honey: LOL! Thanks for all the reviews and hopefully you didn't kill lol! And thanks for all the kind comments about my story! They were pretty much the reason I actually updated this story! So keep reviewing, plz?

silverfangedgoddess09: Oh, the sand sibs? Yeah, lol! They're lessons are coming, I didn't want them in the first part for some reason but they'll be in the third part as well as the second so don't worry about not having chapters about them. They are the best, especially Gaara! Thanks for the review!

angel6 aka trinigyal: Yo, long time no reply review through Fanfic, eh? My March break was ok, like to tell you the truth nothing special. Hopefully, yours was good! TTYL!

And so ends my replies, and now I should get cracking on Part 2 of Driver's Ed. Later Days!


	8. Is it REALLY over?

**KDZ**: Finally, I came up with a tank! The story is NOT over like I thought.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Naruto characters

Attention: The plan won't be revealed for a couple of chapters. You'll understand what I mean, later.

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style 

Chapter 8: Is it _really_ over?

Tsunade threw around the bills angrily at the Jounins, who looked rather depressed. They hadn't been able to teach their students and had been WAY too poor to pay for a real teacher to teach those crazy children of theirs.

And that is why they are depressed. Tsunade on the other hand was angry…very angry. It's been three months since Rock Lee- the last driver was behind the wheel and they still hadn't been able to afford a teacher since they couldn't pay for all those cars they had deported to Konoha.

Which was heartbreaking.

"I don't get it! It's been three months; for god's sake we even sold Kurenai's blood and said it'd give immortal life" Tsunade said frustrated.

"All we got was a lawsuit for selling blood without a license- apparently what we were doing wasn't very _legal_," Tsunade told them as she saw there was only four Jounins there and an annoying Chuunin, Kurenai was in the hospital.

No one had been able to drive- not even the Jounins, like _no one_. The roads were just there and the cars, they were not allowed to be driven because of the serious increase price of gas and the villagers refused to pay for it.

"You see! I told you that they shouldn't be able to drive! Who's the ugly Chuunin joy-killer NOW?" Iruka said laughing giddily. Baki had retorted to that question by spitting in his face.

"Did you just SPIT IN MY FACE?" Iruka shrieked hysterically, "It's about to be a _what_?" Kakashi said excited.

"No more bitch fights!" Tsunade roared angrily, as they all gasped in shock. Everyone knew Tsunade loved a good bitch fight I mean LOVED it! She would request one as she was having her afternoon tea, because she can.

"N-no bitch fights? Hokage-sama" Gai-Sensei sobbed into Asuma's shoulder as Asuma just sighed, why did he always cry on HIS shoulder. But, the no bitch fights were rather…nerve wrecking, was Konoha in THAT much trouble.

"I…I just don't know what to do" Tsunade said as her voice cracked, she wanted to be a great Hokage but she hadn't had a good bottle of booze, gambling, nothing! Lately, everything has just been bills, bills, and bills.

"So…we can't sell Kurenai anymore?" Kakashi suggested, Kurenai would have been perfect…I mean everyone wants vampire blood. Immortality, my ass! Kurenai just wears color contacts. The pale skin, you ask? Well…that's because we keep selling her blood.

The Jounins thought and thought but no one could come up with a plan- actually Gai-Sensei did but no one really likes to listen to Gai-Sensei because he always stops to poses mid-sentence and you really just get confused.

"So, no one? No ideas? C'mon! Anyone! ANYONE!" Tsunade said as she cried in her golden silk handkerchief.

"ME! OH ME! OHHHH, PLEEEEASE PICK ME!" Gai-Sensei said jumping around the room, waving around his hand impatiently and rather psychotically.

"Really, any idea would be good" Kakashi mused as he scratched his chin, as the rest nodded along side with him.

"ASUUUUMA! MAKE THEM PICK ME! ASUUUUMA!" Gai-Sensei said shaking around the bearded man who was looking rather pale form the shaking.

"For the love of god, please someone! _Pick_ him" Asuma gagged out as Tsunade sighed and nodded her head towards Gai-Sensei to inform him he could share with the group.

Gai-Sensei threw Asuma aside as he crashed the wall, normally Kurenai would have checked to see if he was alive to smoke another smoke but she in the hospital.

"My plan is SHEER brilliance! The absolute! The plan of all plans!" Gai-Sensei said as he posed between each sentence doing his thang for the group but they stared at him impatiently and Gai-Sensei knew if he wore them to thin they'd pimp him off again.

And that was ONE thing he didn't ever want to do again, come hell or Tenten he didn't want to get on their bad side.

"My plan is…" Gai-Sensei's voice fell to a whisper for dramatic effect. They leaned in to here what their comrade had to say, and were amazed at his words.

Gai-Sensei's plan was actually…**LE GASP**! SMART!

"H-how did you…but you can't? This is w-wrong" Kakashi stuttered, he wasn't going to believe that that loser that followed him around challenging him at every little thing had come up with a brilliant plan to come up with money for the village.

"That could actually work" Baki muttered, who didn't seem so faltered about the fact that Gai-Sensei had come up with a smart plan. He didn't know Gai-Sensei very well.

"I cannot believe I'm saying this Gai-Sensei, but your plan! It will take place! I assure you, you are the hero of KONOHA!" Tsunade cried out happily as he had the strangest urge to actually hug the spandex-clad man but resisted it with a strong willpower.

"WAIT TILL I TELL MY STUDENTS! That I, Maito Gai, am the hero of Konoha!" Gai-Sensei sobbed into Asuma's arms.

"I need a smoke," Asuma muttered angrily, as he let the savior of Konoha cry in his arms but only this time. After all, the furry-eye browed man did create the plan to save Konoha.

"You can't tell your students about our plan, it has to be a secret" Kakashi said rolling his eye, he knew Gai-Sensei was still an idiot. That plan was a fluke, Kakashi decided suddenly feeling rather…inferior to his fellow Jounin and _that_ was a scary feeling.

"Oh right" Gai-Sensei said as he wiped away his tears on his spandex sleeve.

"So, it's decided? We use Gai-Sensei's plan?" Iruka said looking around excited he had been included, everyone looked at the CHUUNIN in disgust- isn't there a B mission he must be on or some elementary children to teach and bore us to death with?

The Jounins and Hokage decided to ignore the Chuunin; he was beneath them.

"So, it's decided? We use Gai-Sensei's plan?" Baki said in a less than excited voice and everyone nodded enthusiastically as Iruka just wondered why everyone respected handkerchief and not him.

Gai-Sensei smiled and said "Look, a sunset" Gai-Sensei said as the Jounin and Hokage joined hands and walked into the sunset. Iruka smiled and reached Asuma's hand and was slapped away.

"Jounins and big-boobed Hokage's only" Asuma scolded him as he pointed in the other direction; in a way to tell him- you're not coming with us.

Iruka watched them as they skipped away joyfully leaving him all alone. Iruka walked away feeling rather crestfallen, no one ever let _him_ play.

And that's the way it'll always be…

**KDZ**: The next chapter we'll catch up with Gai-Sensei's team. Has Tenten changed? Has Lee recovered from the loss of the squirrel? And has Neji learned how to read? Find out in the next chapter of…Driver's Ed: Naruto style!

BasicallyAnIdiot: Thanks for the idea for the tank, well not the idea but the idea to _get_ a tank. Thanks for the review

Gforce member45: Yes, I did take a while to update it but I'll try not to do it again, thanks for the review

Ladyaymie: Oh, I changed my mind and decided to continue with the story. Thanks, if it weren't for you I wouldn't have continued the story. Thanks for the reviews

Ritalin on steroids: Thank you, the cow rapist is among my favorites as well (Also based on a real person) and also, they won't continue with the lessons until they raise the money. Thanks for the review

Gohan209: I took down the chapter so hoped you enjoyed this one as well! Thanks for the review

Uchikeshi: Then I'm honored that you'd say that about my story, thank you. And thanks for the reviews!

Well, that's a wrap! Review please?

--- _KarmaDreamz_


	9. Prince Charming

**KDZ**: How come no one told me I posted the wrong chapter? Oh well, here's 9? HAHA! As I said has Tenten changed her teammate hating ways? Has Lee recovered from the squirrel incident? Has Neji learned how to read?

Disclaimer: If you guessed I don't own Naruto or that Steve Wonder Song, you win a cookie- but a half-eaten one…with _raisins_.

Attention: No Squirrels were harmed in the making of the story…Okay. Some died…but they got on my last nerve!

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! 

Chapter 9: Prince Charming

Some people wonder if their Prince Charming will come along the yellow brick road and whisk them away.

Take them away from everything that has done them wrong; protect them from anything that may hurt them.

This is not true. This is Tenten's realization of the sad, sad fact…

Tenten sighed as the kunai glistened in the sun making her look especially psychotic with a heavenly glow. She was confused, she would wonder about how her feelings were anymore.

She knew she hated them…her teammates…her teacher; they were evil. They treated her differently because she didn't have a special talent or something special about her and that was unfair- to her and the hundreds of boring people around the world who virtually have nothing to show.

Then why was she feeling this way…but she _knew_. There was just something about Neji.

The way when he jumped from a high place to the ground and his hair would just flay around like a shampoo commercial it was like- WHOOOSH!

It made her heart skip a beat- that can only be used figuratively because if her heart had skipped a beat that would mean she was developing an irregular heart beat and had to see a doctor ASAP but enough about the facts.

She never felt this way about a guy before, let alone about a guy that looked like a girl this was definitely something new- something **sinister**.

Tenten had a dream last night, like real girls that she was a princess. But, she was alone because no guy wanted a princess who was boring, they wanted adventuress like Sakura, they wanted beautiful like Ino, they wanted cool like Temari, they wanted creepy looking like Hinata, but boring? No. They didn't want _her_.

Now real Tenten didn't want to end up like dream Tenten who ended up alone by herself. She wanted a Prince…and that prince was just going to have to be Neji.

I mean there were many reasons why the other guys just wouldn't work. Naruto was too noisy. Sasuke was too bitchy. Shikamaru was too lazy. Chouji was too fat. Kiba's jacket was too ugly. Shino was too insecure about himself. Gaara was too young. Kankuro was too drag. Rock Lee was the enemy (He also wears spandex). There were just too many reasons but Neji didn't really have a secure one. So, he couldn't read. So, he looked like a girl. So, he wears all white.

He was just like her! Except the fact she COULD read and she wore color but she looked like a _girl_! Just like Neji! They had SO much in common and that is why he was chosen to be her Prince Charming.

Ever since last month when her brown eyes had met his pale ones in a hard gaze, she had felt a lump in her throat as if she had eaten a cat and it was trying to claw it's way out. Though Tenten would never have eaten a cat, it was against all her principals. She was a vegetarian, though no one knew that because no one really talked to her- now people talk to her but it's really just the Judge making sure she hasn't pulled any fast ones on them.

She hadn't. She didn't plan to either…all she had to do was win over the Hyuuga because she wasn't going to end up alone. Over her freaking dead body! Or someone else's dead body it didn't matter.

Tenten decided to plan the perfect way she could win him over. By singing him a ballad of her love…why? That was the perfect plan, was it not?

"Then he could SEE, just how right he is for MEEE" Tenten sang happily, as a dogs howled in the distance. Tenten knew she would just woo him over, and she WOULDN'T be alone. She just wouldn't!

Tenten's thoughts drifted away to the day on which she and his eyes had met in that loving, yet powerful gaze.

She remembered being bored out of her skull as Gai-Sensei had been telling his teammates on why green spandex was the way to go in an hour-long presentation, which had just finished. Things were going back to normal- or so it looked, Gai-Sensei had a determination to pretend that nothing had happened at the driving lessons. So, the only way things would go back to normal if they all started pretending they didn't see her.

She had looked around the room; Rock Lee was praising Gai-Sensei's choice in clothes…that was a bit odd since they wore the same outfit.

Her eye's had landed on Neji who instantly turned around, her honey brown eyes met with his pale ones.

Her eyes averted his hard gaze, which even though she didn't exactly have 360 freaking vision, she could still tell if someone was staring at her.

All girls have the gift; we were given that gift when Molesters started prowling around the streets, for the people who were born before they started to go around…let's just say, they didn't make it in the real world…

Anyways, back to the future!

Tenten would **make** him love her- because Tenten always had to take the hard road. That's the way it'll always be…

Tomorrow at 3 a.m. in the freaking morning 

Tenten twitched violently as she stared at the microphone, she did that sometimes when she was nervous- she remembered how Gai-Sensei would take the to the park and scare little children with it but things weren't like that anymore…things were different now.

'Enough' Tenten thought to herself as she stared at the microphone anxiously as she grabbed it off its rack.

She dialed Neji's number fast into the phone as she waited for him to pick up, and then she heard a voice, it was angelic like harp's music.

"Rock Lee? What did I say about calling me 3 a.m. in the freaking morning?" Neji's voice growled.

Tenten took a deep breath and sang like she's never sang before, because that's what it sounded like, like a cat being tortured to sing at gunpoint, but Tenten would never do that. It was against her principles.

_I just called to say, I love you _

_I just called to say how much I CAAAARE_

_I just called to say, I LOOOOOOOVE you_

_And I mean it! From the bottom of my heart! _

"Gai-Sensei?" Neji said confused on the other side of the phone, "No! It's ME! Tenten!" Tenten cried out passionately.

"Tenten who?" Neji asked her, "its just Tenten…like Cher" Tenten said agitated.

Suddenly, Tenten heard yelling from the background.

"NEJI! What are you doing on the phone? What was the _horrible_ sound?" Hiashi yelled at Neji.

"Were you singing? What did I say about singing in this house? This is the LAST STRAW, Neji Hyuuga," The voice barked at him.

"I WASN'T SINGING, I SWEAR!" Neji shrieked in horror, knowing his destiny. "You know what the punishment for singing is," the voice said in a deathly tone.

"No, Uncle!" Neji cried out, as Tenten heard a grunt as something she heard was pulled out of its socket. Tenten gasped in horror.

"NOT THE T.V. CORD" Neji wailed, "No more Laguna Beach for YOU" the voice said as Tenten heard a slam of a door on the other side of the phone.

Tenten hung up the phone as she placed it back gently on the thingy that holds phones. (**KDZ**: Hopefully you know what I mean)

She would have to apologize about the Laguna Beach tomorrow at practice.

**KDZ: **Ok, sorry about the mix-up and yes, I know you've already read chapter 10- so sorry about that.


	10. Nutty Neji

**KDZ**: I know I've already posted this chapter but NOW it should make sense.

Disclaimer: If you guessed I don't own Naruto, you win a cookie- but a half-eaten one…with _raisins_.

Attention: No one was hurt in the making of this story…except little Timmy. _Oh_, little Timmy…

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! 

Chapter 10: Nutty Neji

That afternoon at practice Tenten had decided to make small conversation with the boy who had been deprived of his Soaps because she didn't have the decency to just write a love letter like normal girls.

Though he wasn't talking to her, no matter how hard she tried. She even talked about how she was thinking of going spandex, but no reaction. He was making this harder than it had to be.

"I'VE DECIDED!" Tenten yelled jumping up enthusiastically. "I will come back in 5 minutes and Neji will propose to me," Tenten said pointing at Neji, determined.

Rock Lee stopped kicking the tree, and turned to look at her…whatever was nut job thinking?

Neji, himself, gave her no mind, continuing with his training.

"JUST WATCH! 5 MINUTES, THAT'S ALL I NEED!" She screamed as she showed them her backpack.

_2 days later… _

"Tenten? Where have you? You said 5-" Rock Lee's worrying were cut off by, "JUST SHUT UP!" she said angrily as his eyes wandered to behind her.

Squirrels, thousands and thousands of SQUIRRELS!

"Ohmigawsh! My friends, what are they doing here…what have you DONE to them?" He asked in awe as he tried to touch them, but they only snarled making him back off.

"I starved them for 2 years, and now I'm back…to get HYUUGA!" Tenten said with a dark cackle, "Um. You were gone less than 2 days…" Rock Lee said with a shock look on his face as he glanced at the oddly thin squirrels.

"2 DAYS? Please. I've been starving them from TIME, now I'm putting them to use." Tenten said shrugging as she threw a tiny nut, they all jumped…blood spilling, but than she picked it up again putting it in her pocket.

Rock Lee gaped at her, as she walked off…

"HYUUGA NEJI!" Tenten screamed, running after him as she saw him walking off. Thousands of squirrels were behind her.

"What do YOU want-WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" He screeched as he saw the dying and hungry squirrels glaring at him, knowing that they were to hurt him…

"This is it Hyuuga Neji! You go out with me or I sick these dying animals and trust me…they're dying for food, they'll eat your flesh like a nut" she chattered her teeth against her own flesh mimicking the squirrels, wiping the drool off her mouth as she looked up.

She stared at the empty space that SHOULD have been where he was melting for her.

"NOOOOO! HE'S GONE!" She screeched as picked up a squirrel throwing it on the floor again, Rock Lee stepped out of the bushes, with a gun in his hand.

"Release the Squirrels you **mad** woman, I'm sorry but there is a thing as" Rock Lee stopped talking to cock the gun; "CROSSING THE LINE," he said aiming it at her face.

"Take ya damn squirrels, and get that thing out of my face and put it back in my mother's room where it belongs! I swear to god, if she finds it missing it's you're head" she screeched at him, throwing the hungry squirrels at him one by one on any inch of his body that had revealing skin –sadly, that was only his face and hands-

His deafening screams annoyed her, so she stuffed one of the dying animals in his mouth, "God. JUST SHUT UP!"

Tenten walked away dejected, she left having the feeling maybe she hadn't been chosen to have a Prince Charming. She was destined to be alone for the rest of her life; she was probably going to have to live with her mother forever.

The only thing she could hear in the distance was muffled cries for help and her breaking heart.

That evening, Gai-Sensei had called a team meeting to discuss Rock Lee's fatal 'accident' at some sort of club.

Tenten didn't want them to lock her up again in the Wacky Shack, so decided to pretend she didn't know what had happened at the 'accident'

"Ohmigosh, Gai-Sensei…What's…WRONG? Why are you so sad?" Tenten asked him, giving him a hug. Gai-Sensei sobbed harder, and tried to pull her off him but was crying too hard.

"Rock Lee, he's in the hospital! He has bite marks, and was almost eaten ALIVE! If Neji hadn't been hiding behind that tree from you, he would have been eaten ALIVE! It's horrible, they had to surgically remove the squirrels from his body, and I mean it took them HOURS!" Gai-Sensei fell into sobs, "So I called Neji here to watch me drink all my troubles away, but he refused to come to this specific club…but than I eventually promised him that I wouldn't tell that he had cried when a Squirrel jumped from Rock Lee's body to his own" Gai-Sensei said with a laugh at the end, "Neji was screaming in horror, because when they removed it from Lee's body all of them headed for his own, he did that attack where he spins and all of them start to fly around, it was soooo funny! I mean it was the highlight of my day to see those Squirrels fly around in a twister of chakra, swimming towards Neji" Gai-Sensei was laughing so hard, along with the other people who had heard about his encountered with the dying animals.

"I think _I_ need a drink," Neji said as he started taking Jell-O shots as he started to get wasted. He eventually fell unconscious while Gai-Sensei was acting out Neji's little scene at the hospital for the guys at the club leaving her all…**alone**.

"Why is everyone so freaking ANNOYING" Tenten yelled as she stormed out of the club angrily only to see Sasuke and Sakura holding hands.

"Hey, guess what Tenten?" Sakura said as she pulled her hand as Sasuke helplessly was pulled to Tenten.

"What?" Tenten snapped. She was in NO mood to play a guessing game- though Monopoly was a different story. Everyone loves monopoly.

"Sasuke and I are TOGETHER" Sakura squealed as she showed him their hands, as Sasuke just scoffed. "You got him in the end!" Tenten said as her eyes shined over. Sakura nodded as Sasuke once again just scoffed.

Tenten waved them goodbye and she ran back into the club to claim her prince. Sasuke however had different plans and he scoffed again.

"Can you quit doing that? You keep doing that" Sakura said angrily at him, "You WISH we were a couple" Sasuke said as he tried to pry their hands apart but they were **stuck**.

"Shut UP! It's FATE that I happened to grab your hand as you had super glue on it, oh it was FATE we're completely stuck together now! Nothing but FATE" Sakura said as she showed him, there was no way he could get out of this one.

The two were going to have to wait until Tsunade came back from vacation so she could unstuck them, but until then…

"I love YOOU! You hate MEEE! Let's get together and make BABIEEEES! John came from a kiss from me to YOU! Why won't you say? You love. Me. Too" Sakura sang to a tune of a children's song (Barney, if you couldn't tell)

"No" Sasuke said as they trudged to the Uchiha manor, oh! Could they day GET any worse?

Tenten eventually tried to steal away with Neji and drag him to a 24-hour chapel but Neji woke up before the wedding vows had been completed and cried out for ANBU.

The moral is you know your going to end up alone- _buy a one-room apartment, get 85 cats and call it a day, missy! _

**KDZ**: Yeah, that about covers what Gai-Sensei team's been up to and gives you a clue about what's been up with Kakashi's group. Oh, and Tenten's in the wacky shack!


	11. Like Glue

**Karma: **Wouldn't YOU love to be stuck with the guy of your dreams- even when things get just a little _ugly_?

**Dedicated to**: Gohan209! Thanks for always reviewing

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of the Naruto characters.

**Attention**: No one was harmed in the making of this chapter!

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! 

Chapter 11: Like Glue

"What is THIS?" Naruto shrieked as he stared at shock at the sight before him. "It's called a crane- and no, you _can't _touch it" Kakashi said rolling his eye.

"Aww" Naruto said sadly as he glanced at the chainsaw he had borrowed from Rock Lee, he said he wouldn't mind since he was still recovering from some squirrel assault? It was really beyond him so he just took the chainsaw and left.

"You think that's amazing? Move your baby-blues over to that display," Kakashi said as he pointed to Sasuke and Sakura…HOLDING HANDS?

"WHAAAAT?" Naruto screeched as he saw the two holding hands, Naruto was lost of words. When had THIS happened?

"When did this happen?" Naruto demanded his Sensei, as he put his hands on his hips in a very intimidating manner.

"Why, yesterday of course" Kakashi told his student, Naruto hadn't been there that day so he had missed the first day of their mission and had no clue about the…circumstances.

"While I was in pain? Coughing up a lung? They were getting their kicks behind my back?" Naruto yelled into the heavens in nothing but fury.

"Um…" Kakashi was quiet for a minute, and then decided to let Naruto confront the two about the situation- he was in _no_ position to stop a good fight after-all the next Paradise book wouldn't be coming out in a week and he needed some good entertainment.

"They were **animals**," Kakashi told Naruto as that only fueled his anger as he set out to start a fit in front of them but they were gone.

"Where…where did they go?" Naruto said looking around but his two EX-friends had disappeared.

"I bet to do a little…" Kakashi's voice fell to a whisper as Naruto's huge blue eyes looked like they were about to pop out their sockets.

"I'll never let you do that to Sakura-Chan!" Naruto cried out as he let out a warrior's cry and grabbed the chainsaw and set off to find the two before they could start something Sakura was going to regret.

"I only said they were going to do a little cuddling and hugging" Kakashi said amazed, it was the best thing he could think off without getting too graphic on the little kid.

Naruto ran off to bump into Kiba and Shikamaru who were having a little fight? Actually Kiba was doing all the screaming and yelling. Shikamaru just stood there taking the verbal abuse.

"I do NOT smell like dog! How would YOU like it if I said you smelled like BRAINS? Huh? Well, you know WHAT? You don't smell like brains! You smell like Baby Lotion and Herbal Essences! Pineapple head!" Kiba said throwing around lame insults. It was rather pathetic.

"Hey, have you seen the Uchiha and my cherry blossom?" Naruto said looking around frantically, he had to return the Chainsaw soon and he hadn't finished Sasuke off yet.

"No…why?" Kiba said looking up, he didn't know why but something was different about Uzumaki. Kiba had heard he had the flu, and seemed rather weak. Even if he had farted in his face, it was time he started acting like a real man and forgive the poor blonde.

"It's just when I was sick, Sasuke decided to act like a bitch and woo her while I was in bed coughing up a lung and a LIVER. The bastard" Naruto cursed as he shook his head violently in anger. The Uchiha DARES! After all Naruto had done for him.

He broke into his house and wished him a happy birthday, with a full-on fiesta! Sure, it got a little messy but someone had to do it, I mean Sasuke was a pretty much a loner and had no friends- who was going to throw him a party? The librarian?

Ino and Sakura would but how about a friend and not a stalker? That's right. No one. But his ever-loving friend Naruto, and what does he do? Steal his girl! The man-whore!

"What? I heard that they were stuck together with Ninja Glue" Shikamaru said putting in his two-cents, "huh?" Naruto said confused.

"Yeah, they aren't going out. C'mon, Sakura has standards you know" Kiba snorted, but deep down he knew. She did not.

"So, they're just stuck together? That's it?" Naruto said asking the two, who just nodded seriously. Naruto suddenly had another flash of determination across his face.

"I will UNSTICK 'em," Naruto said happily as he pulled the chain of the chainsaw and the saw produced a roaring sound. "Oh no" Shikamaru said as he grabbed the chainsaw from the petite blonde.

"You can just use the _antidote_" Shikamaru informed him, "where am I going to get that? This is much quicker" he replied trying to get the saw back from the genius.

"Here" Kiba said pulling out a bottle from his jacket, "where'd you get that?" Naruto asked the other Genin. "Akamaru and I like to build stuff and always get stuck together in the end, we buy this in bulk! Yah know just the other day we-"

"Yeah, that's great" Naruto said, cutting off Kiba and grabbing the antidote. Kiba just sighed, but was glad that he wasn't hanging out with Shino and Hinata- he needed some new friends and fast. If taking abuse was the first step to friendship, Kiba was going to have to deal with that.

"So, we just give them the antidote…" Shikamaru's voice trailed off as he saw Naruto slip on a hockey mask. "What the _hell_ are you doing?" Shikamaru snapped at the Genin.

"Nothing" Naruto said as his voice boomed within the mask, Shikamaru just sighed. Naruto was troublesome. Why, he even bothered to help the boy was beyond him.

Shikamaru handed Naruto the antidote, "J-just give them the antidote" Shikamaru said with a sigh as he placed the antidote in the boy's hand.

"Got it" Naruto said about to take off, "wait. Can I have the chainsaw back?" Naruto pleaded. "You don't NEED it. You just give them the antidote and then come play with Kiba" Shikamaru instructed him.

"I swear I'm going to just give it RIGHT back to Rock Lee, then find Sasuke and Sakura to give them the antidote" Naruto said as he shook his butt around anxiously, batting his eyelids at Shikamaru.

"Here…just stop _doing_ that" Shikamaru said as he handed him the chainsaw, "Thank you" Naruto jumped up and gave the Chuunin a hug, "Ew! Get off of me" Shikamaru said pushing him off of him.

Naruto jumped off and secured the hockey mask as he set out to find the Uchiha boy and his lost princess.

Back with Sasuke and Sakura… 

"Sakura, can you please just shut up" Sasuke said as he tried to read the latest novel in the Romance Collection but Sakura was not making it easy for him, especially since she was trying to comb her hair while he was trying to read.

"Well, guess what Uchiha? Not everyone can rock the bed-head look," Sakura snapped as she tried to put the brush through her hair again, Sasuke's hand went up and he lost his page.

"ARGH! Look what you what you made me do" Sasuke cried out angrily as he threw the book on the floor, "Now I'll never know if Larry the Cucumber and the squash EVER get together" Sasuke said shooting his new hand twin a dirty look.

Sakura sighed; the whole being stuck to the man of her dreams thing was not working out. It was downright annoying! Sasuke was a boring person. Except the whole him writing letters to his younger self to warn him about things that will happen to him when he's older- no, that was just weird. With a dash of disturbing.

"Sasuke…get help" Sakura said putting her hand on his shoulder, which he brushed off. "I'm going to go take a walk" Sasuke said getting up in a cool manner as he tried to leave for the door but realized he was taking along a guest.

"I don't remember inviting you" Sasuke snarled, Sakura picked up their hands to show she was coming along whether he liked it or not.

"Fine" Sasuke sniffed in disgust as he grabbed his coat, which had been sowed to Sakura's coat into a coat that could _almost_ be more ugly than Kiba's jacket. _Almost_.

They slipped it on as they practiced and set out for a walk together; sure they looked like they had been merged together in a freak accident in a lab but they pretended they didn't notice the whispering and the looks of shock.

They were too cool for that- or Sasuke was, who was apparently her better half.

They came along Ino, who was checking out herself in a store window when her eyes fell on the two who wear sharing some jacket and took new meaning to being a couple.

"What?" Ino shrieked as she saw the two walk up to her, "Hello Yamanaka" Sakura said smugly as she wrapped herself closer to Sasuke who had a stonic look on his face and thought to himself.

_Stop it. _

But he thought he was too cool to plead or beg for something so he stayed stonic.

"Hello Haruna" Ino sniffed as she just couldn't take it anymore, she ran off sobbing. Knowing she had lost.

"Haha" Sakura said as she tried to frolic away happily, but Sasuke doesn't frolic. So, she thought a bit of a bounce in her and Sasuke's stonic walk would have to satisfy her.

"Sakura"

Sakura blinked, wondering where that unusually booming voice had come from; she looked around until her eyes landed on a petite, mysterious, psychotic looking figure in a hockey mask and a CHAINSAW?

"AUGHH" Sakura screamed as Sasuke looked at whatever had made his lower half scream, it was some- freak?

"Sakura!" The voice said as he pulled the chain on the saw and it gave a low rumble as it vibrated in the figures hand.

Sasuke let out a girlish shriek and pulled his not so cool half into a running frenzy.

The figure looked shocked and pulled on the chain again like a starting engine and went after the two.

"SAKKKKKURRRRAAAAA" It yelled, as Sasuke started frantically trying to pull away from Sakura. "What are you trying to do?" Sakura gasped as Sasuke tried to pull his hand away from her.

"Shut up! It wants YOU! Not me! Let go of my hand" Sasuke demanded as he tried to pry her away from his hand but he was stuck. And stuck with the psycho hot on their tail.

"WHY ME?" Sasuke wailed as he dragged the pink-haired ninja along side with him. "Now I'll never know if Larry ends up with the SQUAAAAAASH" Sasuke said as he pulled Sakura into an alley, and saw a dead end.

The petite figure finally gave out sigh of relief, as he pulled the chain as a victory pull or so they thought.

"NOTE TO YOUNGER SELF! Stay away from masked man with chainsaw" Sasuke sobbed as he fell into a heap on the floor, pulling Sakura down with him. Sakura scoffed in disgust, Sasuke was pitiful.

The masked man reached in his pocket as Sakura pulled the sobbing Uchiha as they blasted past the petite boy.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" Sakura said laughing manically as she ran with the Raven-haired boy, "GET BACK HERE!" The small masked figure boomed as he the chainsaw roared.

"I JUST WANT TO CUT YOUR HANDS APART!" The boy said running after him, "Let him do it! Let him do it" Sasuke pleaded to Sakura who seemed to have an unwavering will to keep running.

Sakura was too intent on surviving to let the little boy cut off her hand, what was she going to throw her kunai with? Her foot?

They finally came to a stop as they saw the figure had stopped chasing them. Sakura let out a sigh of relief; she had saved herself and the sniveling coward from the hockey-masked man. Oh, what a day! What a day!

Sakura turned around to see that there was not ONE but a HUNDRED hockey masked men with chainsaws in the distance coming straight for them.

Sakura was too tired to keep running and Sasuke was trying to bite his hand off.

Sakura eyes squinted as she saw there was a banner in the distance. It said:

HUNDRED HOCKEY-MASKED MEN WITH CHAINSAW PARADE!

Sakura's eye twitched violently as she let the parade march through, it wasn't their killer.

"Hey, there's a hundred and…one?" Sasuke counted as Sakura raised an eyebrow.

Then out of nowhere their petite figure jumped out of the parade and started up his chainsaw, as Sakura and Sasuke took a run for it.

"SAKURRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA" it wailed as it jumped on Sasuke's back and started flaying it hands around as the chain on the saw whipped Sasuke violently.

"LET SAKUUUURAAAA FREEE" It screamed as it held Sasuke's ears back angrily, kicking Sasuke's ribs. "I WOULD IF IT COULD!" Sasuke cried out as the figure chomped on his hand.

The mask flew off the boy's face to reveal…Naruto?

"I hate you, Sasuke" Naruto said as Sasuke stopped crying out in pain and trying to pry him away, in shock seeing it was Naruto.

Sakura's eyes blazed with anger as Naruto jumped off Sasuke's back. "Hey guys" Naruto said weakly as he pulled the chain as it made a weak roaring sound.

"You!" Sasuke said as he took a menacing step forward towards the blue-eyed boy. "I have the antidote," Naruto said trying to save himself from the angered Uchiha.

"What?" They both said making a dive for it with their hands; Naruto stepped back in shock as it dropped to the floor.  
"NO" Sakura and Sasuke cried out dropping to the floor and trying to pick up the pieces but it was no use, it was gone. As it sunk into the dirt…

All that work for nothing! Ah well, they were just going to have to wait till Tsunade to come back to get the antidote.

_The moral is Kids; keep your hands to yourself…because you just don't know where the other hand's been_

**KDZ: **Now, there's something I want to bring up. The lack of reviews lately…it takes like 2 minutes to press the review button and say what you feel about a chapter so the author knows if you like it or not. So, why not try that? Just for laughs, see for yourself. Just press the review button and type what you thought about the chapter. Try it! You may even grow to like pressing the review button and telling the author your thoughts.


	12. Best day Ever

**Karma: **Thanks for all the kind reviews! Sorry for the late chapter? I know you're wondering about the plan to get driving back, but I need to build up on some characters' crazy and their relationships before the plan is set. Like Itachi and Sasuke's relationship (Brotherly mind you). Naruto's new found friendship with Shino and Kiba. Hinata's horrible relationship with Gai-Sensei, Sakura and Neji's relationship (They don't go together, that's why I put them together), Gaara's hatred towards Chef Boyardee and ect. As you can see I have 5 more chapters to go which will explain this before Gai-Sensei's plan is set. Plus, I always wanted to do fillers…

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kiba, Shino, or Naruto!

**Attention**: No dogs or bugs were harmed in the making of the story!

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! 

Chapter 12: The best day EVER!

Shino looked up from his bug collection down his pants to see Kiba and Naruto laughing…happily…even though they looked like they'd been from hell and back, Naruto had a walking stick because of the cast on his left leg, while Kiba had a neck Brace, with stitches all over…they both had stitches all over, also big bandage on they're arms…yet the two still look so happy!

"Oh hey, Shino! We just had the BEST DAY EVER!" Kiba said with a laugh, as if remembering their day.

"What happened?" Shino asked. They did look genuinely happy!

"You want to know what happened? Because it was the BEST DAY EVER!" Naruto said with a huge smile on his face, Shino was getting impatient.

Why wouldn't they just TELL him?

"Well…First Kiba and I were just hanging out, you know the usual!" Naruto said with the grin, Shino actually didn't know what the usual was but…they didn't have to know that.

"So, Kiba sees this dog and picks it up! Than he hands it to me, and it bites me! You see. I didn't know it had rabies!" Naruto said laughing hard, "I was shocked, so I threw the dog to Kiba and than it bites him!"

"We went home, while the dog was chasing us with this crazy look on its face! I tried to talk to it, but it spit foam in my face, than I got angry and bit it! Than the dog's eyes get glazed over, and it grabs on to my ear and won't let go!" Kiba said laughing so hard, that Naruto had to continue it for him.

"Well, eventually we got to Kiba's house and we shut the door on its face, really scared! Than all of a sudden foam starts to bubble in our mouths, I mean the foam was EVERYWHERE! It was just spilling it our mouths, the scary part was why mine was GREEN? Than I looked over at Kiba's and his foam was green too!" Naruto said holding his stomach with laughter, "We ran over to Kiba's mom and she told us we had RABIES! The green was just because we had just eaten green Popsicles"

Kiba had recovered from the ear thing, so he continued.

"Well, in the car…I saw a dog from the window who looked so sad I wanted to pet it! So I opened up the door, and got thrown out…see? I hurt my neck!" Kiba said showing him the neck brace, "but than Naruto came diving after me, and than he breaks his left ankle! My mom almost dies, but she survived…don't worry she'll wake up from the coma _any_ day now! After that, I look at the dog and I see it's the rabies dog! He gets that weird glazed look over its eye and gets my ear!" Kiba falls back into laughter, "Kiba eventually pulls the creepy dog off him, but Kiba couldn't yell sit because it kept coming **blitz** because he had foam spilling out of his mouth!"

Shino just stared at them.

"So THAN! We eventually got to the doctor's by helicopter, I don't know why but that's the way we got there! Than I slip out of the Helicopter and fall all the way DOWN! Kiba got worried and came down after me, but than we had to go there by the cops because we weren't trusted except by cops. Than a Ninja comes, and he was stronger than ZABUZA! We eventually won, got the rabies shot, killed the dog, and lived to tell the tale," Naruto said ending his almost unbelievable day…than again it was Naruto.

"You FUCKING IDIOTS!" Shino screamed at them, Naruto and Kiba gasped at his words, "Why didn't you call me? All I've been doing is counting bugs! That sounds so much fun" Shino let out a sigh, as he sicked thousands and thousands of bugs on them.

_The moral is NEVER EVER leave Shino out or he'll sick thousands of nasty bugs on you! _

**KDZ**: Small chapter, eh? Sorry for Shino's harsh language. The next chapter is the 2nd installment of the Aubrame-Uzumaki- whatever Kiba's last name is ADVENTURE!


	13. Worst day Ever

**Karma: **The Part 2 of the epic adventures of three friends who make their dreams come true, one step at time. I also have nothing against Ronald McDonald and the crew; this is for entertainment purposes only.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kiba, Shino, or Naruto! Don't own KFC- the COLONEL, Ronald McDonald and crew, McDonalds, Harry Potter. Ashton Kutcher and whoever else I mention.

**Attention**: Only the fry kids were harmed in the making of this chapter. All _three_ of 'em!

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! 

Chapter 13: The worst day EVER!

Shino watched them scream in complete horror, as the bugs crawled all over them, but he still didn't feel happy.

Leaving the two, he went home to wonder why he felt so incomplete…

Did he have any bugs missing? No. They were all there, except Melinda. She didn't see Asuma's foot coming and that was well the end for her.

He still hadn't forgiven Asuma about that, he had such a connection with her! Melinda and her Kentucky Friend Chicken, she just loved the greasy stuff.

That was it! He would go to Kentucky and have some KFC!

Packing his stuff, his eyes wandered towards a picture of Melinda on his dresser…his first true love, even though he wouldn't admit it!

Dragging his suitcase outside he bumped into 'Thelma and Louise'

"Hey Shino! Where are you going?" Naruto asked forgetting all about their last encounter as he picked up the fallen contents.

"Kentucky! To have a better day than you," Shino growled angrily as angrily as he could actually pull off without showing any emotion whatsoever.

"Can we come too?" Kiba asked him as his eyebrow raised at the picture of a bug? Shino grabbed the picture of Melinda back.

"Yeah sure. I mean…eh. Whatever" Shino said with a sigh, as they went off to Kentucky!

Seconds later they had reached Kentucky, I don't know how…but they did.

"Huh? What's up with this? It should have taken hours," Kiba said as he saw some geek-y looking kid with a even worse cape.

Kiba flipped him off just for the fun of it, Harry Potter had flipped him back as the 9 ¼ left the station.

"Who cares" Naruto said as he dragged his luggage along the station (Which wasn't really his but some old man he had robbed off at the train)

"Why are we here anyways? OH MY GAWD! We're on Punk'd aren't we? YOU DIDN'T FOOL ME!" Naruto said waving at a man with a backwards cap. Ashton sighed as he trudged off with his camera crew.

"We're here to get some KFC" Shino said as he pointed towards the glorious fast food restaurant, as it glowed a heavenly color.

"Really? Never eaten there before…" Kiba said as he remembered he had left Akamaru in Konoha, tears came to his eyes as he hugged his suitcase remembering his furry buddy.

"Yes. Neither have I, but Melinda's dream was to meet the Colonel…I tend to make that dream true…for me" Shino said with the smallest hint of a smile, as he opened the door.

"Who's Melinda? I thought you had a thing for Hinata?" Kiba said confused, " That old-hating chick?" Naruto said wrinkling his nose. He just KNEW she was weird.

"No, but I know you do" Shino pointed out, Naruto looked at the dog-loving guy in shock. "What? I find her colorful" Kiba said with a sigh, he hoped they wouldn't stop being his friend because he liked her.

"Oh. Cool" Naruto said trying to be kind as they looked around the store, but backed out when a guy cried out: THERE'S A DEAD GUY IN MY SOUP! I demand to see the COLONEL!

The cashier groaned and pointed to the sign.

THE COLONEL IS DEAD! Get over it. 

Dejected the trio walked away, they had probably come a day late or something.

"I'm starving" Naruto moaned as they walked along to see another restaurant, he looked at them,

"Want to go to MC…Donald's?" Kiba asked his two companions, "Is that a rapper or something?" Naruto mumbled as the two walked towards the glowing M.

**1 hour later…**

"OH MY GOD!" Naruto shrieked as he ran out of McDonalds, where Kiba and Shino and the Hamburgler weren't far behind.

"T-that was scary…the clown, and the…" Kiba started to shiver as he held Akamaru in his hands, "Let's go back to Konoha"

"Let's Go!" Hamburgler screeched as Kiba, Naruto, and Shino immediately stopped running.

"Hey! Go back" Shino said pointing to the McDonalds, Hamburgler dropped to his knees.

"Oh PLEASE don't make me go back there! I promise you, I won't steal any more. I'll be a good burglar! You'll see" The Hamburgler pleaded as he grabbed on to Naruto's legs.

Hamburgler looked up at their eyes, and got up sobbing as he walked back towards McDonalds.

He turned around t o look at the 3 kids again; all they did was shake their heads as if saying: Your not coming home with us.

Sighing, the Hamburgler continued on as his dreams of a better life- shattered.

**Back in Konoha…**

"Kiba? Shino? Naruto-kun?" Hinata said as her eyes squinted as she saw them walking with their clothes torn and Kiba was completely covered in grease.

Kiba brightened up as he saw his female teammate, "Hinata!" he said walking faster towards her.

"Why are you covered in grease like that?" Hinata asked him, as Kiba blushed,

"We had a bit of trouble in McDonalds…" Kiba said as he informed her that what he was gong to tell her in Italics is what had happened in McDonalds.

"_Akamaru! Is that you?" Kiba said ask he opened up his bag to see his suffocating puppy in the suitcase, Kiba had forgotten he hadn't forgotten to bring along his favorite puppy. _

_The three newfound friends sat down wondering what to order, they looked up to see a 6' clown with a sappy grin on his face. _

"_Hi! I'm Ronald McDonald! Aw, what a cute puppy you have" Ronald said bending down to trying to pet the disturbed puppy. _

"I didn't see the way, Akamaru's eyes were twitching" Kiba said wiping away a tear.

_Akamaru pounced on the make-up disaster clown as he started to bite his ear. _

"_What the? Get your fucking dog off me!" Ronald screeched taking off his huge shoe and hitting the doggy with it. _

"_What are you doing to Akamaru?" Kiba screamed angrily as he started to wrestle the clown for the big shoe. _

"_Stop it! This is supposed to be my best day ever," Shino said with little enthusiasm as he threw a tissue box at them, _

_Naruto looked at the menu, "You know what…I think I'm going to have a Quarter Pounder w/ cheese," he murmured as he looked at the drink selection. _

"_That's it! You messed with the WRONG clown!" Ronald McDonald said angrily as he let out long whistle. _

_A big round purple guy, Hamburgler, Birdie, 3 multicolored thingies, Chicken Nuggets with unfashionable cowboy boots, and a girl around their age with Rasta locks and an ugly grimace on her face had come to Ronald's rescue. (This is the ACTUAL Ronald McDonald crew) _

"_THE CLOWN'S GOT AN ARMY" Naruto said as his menu dropped in shock, "I can't believe you guys are ruining my best day ever" Shino said with a sigh as he put his head in hands. _

"_Hey! Lets show these chicken just how tough we bunch of misfits can be" Ronald McDonald said cackling as the Chicken Nuggets in the boots stormed out insulted. _

"_Wait come back! Poultry! You know I heart you" Ronald screeched after her, but she turned her seasoned head leaving the clown. _

"_Don't be talkin' like there ain't something between us, boy! 'Cuz I KNOW you didn't just say you loved the chicken!" The girl with the locks said anger blazing in her eyes. _

_Nobody noticed the Birdie drag Kiba way from the fight between the McDonald people, Naruto and Shino. _

"_Aw, Tika! You knew there could never be anything between us!" Ronald McDonald said with a laugh, Tika's eyes widened in horror. _

"_You're choosing the CHICKEN over me?" Tika said as her voice started to waver, Ronald just laugher harder. _

"_Of course not! You know I'm gay!" _

"_I thought I could make you HAPPY" Tika cried out as tears stinged her eyes. _

"_Whoa, these people's got SOME lives " Naruto said staring in amazement at the scene before him. _

"_Naruto! Look, Kiba!" Shino said pointing towards Birdie, who was pecking the life out of Kiba. _

"_Huh? But, look over here! The Clown just said that he and the Hamburgler had something going on for years! Yet the Hamburgler is denying it! This is SO Young and Restless" Naruto said his eyes never moving from the scene they were making. _

"_NO! LOOK! The Multicolored things are dumping Kiba into a vat of GREASE" _

"_SHH! They're called The fry Kids" Naruto hissed to him, but was trying to keep it on the down low so they wouldn't notice them and continue on with their scene. _

"_How do YOU know?" Shino said leaving Kiba with the Fry Kids, "'Cuz see the Purple thing?" Naruto said pointing to the flab of purple. Shino nodded in reply, "just been charged for molesting them, that's why he's being dragged off by the police," Naruto said nodding in deep thought. _

_Shino watched the police officers drag the purple guy out the door by force, not because he was resisting but because he isn't the thinnest guy in McDonalds that's for sure. _

_Two Police officers walked towards the Fry Kids, "what do you know about Flabby McFiend?" The officer said laughing, "Heh. Good One" The other one said snickering. _

"_He's a BAD man! He touched us in places where Ronald only said were for him" A Fry kid said pointing at the large clown, who had been laughing nervously trying to get away from the scene. _

"_Heh, they're crazy those kids- TIKA'S GAVE ME THE ECSTACY!" Ronald shrieked pointing at the girl, who gasped in surprise. Naruto and Shino just watched entranced as they cuffed the Rasta locked girl into the handcuffs. _

"_Hey! What'd I miss?" Kiba said walking up to his fellow ninjas, "Nothing normal" Shino said handing Kiba back his traumatized dog. _

"_Yeah" Naruto said turning around to see Birdie with a gun in her hand. _

_She started shooting around crazy towards the three, as they dodged the bullets easily with their super-ninja dance moves c.d. Rock Lee had bought for them. _

"_OH MY GAWD" Naruto shrieked as he remembered he had left bread in the oven as he raced for the door…_

Hinata stared at them for a moment; they had to have been joking!

She gave out a nervous giggle, "You guys are weird," she said as she walked away- then again who was **she** to talk?

Kiba turned around to see Harry Potter laughing…snorting…

"At least I know how to keep the ladies happy" he snickered as he picked up an ugly blanket and covered his head with it as he disappeared.

"Where the hell did he go?" Kiba said looking around in disbelief for the geek but he was gone.

Meanwhile…

"I said you didn't fool me Ashton, so get out of here" Naruto yelled running after the teen star, throwing toasters and anything else he could find.

"YOOOOOOU'VE JUUUUUUST BEEEEEN PUNK'D, NAAAARRUUUUTOOOHMYGAWD" Ashton screeched out as he got hit in the head with a baseball bat.

Shino stared at Naruto yelling angrily at Ashton, "Ashton that crazy man, why is he stalking Naruto anyways? I don't care…this has been the WORST day ever! God, I really hate those two," he cried out angrily as he headed home.

_The moral of the story…never leave a child alone with a creepy clown. _

**KDZ: **Even for me, I think this chapter is a little TOO random- if there even if such a thing. I promise the next chapter is more…normal KDZ. Why is Ashton Kutcher stalking Naruto? Find out in the next chapter of "Driver's Ed: Naruto Style" don't worry Driving will come back; I just got bored with Driving.


	14. Punk'd

**Karma**: If anyone's noticed I recently started updating this story in 2's, is it weird? I think it's better that way to get through these fillers; I want to get back to driving. Anyways, Ashton is stalking Naruto? Why? And will he succeed to punk Uzumaki? Hmm…let's read on…

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Ashton KUTCHER; I don't own Naruto or any of the other characters!

**Attention: **Someone gets hurt…not telling whom.

Driver's Ed: Naruto STYLE! 

Chapter 14: Punk'd!

Naruto looked at the banana peel on the floor, Ashton waited patiently for him to slip on it.

"You're joking right? You have to do a lot better than that!" Naruto said with a laugh stepping over the banana peel to slip on the other one right in front of it.

"YOU'VE JUST BEEN PUNKED!" Ashton said jumping out of the bushes laughing, "Uh…NO! I wasn't Punked, I actually PUT this banana peel to fool you!" Naruto said getting up.

"Really?" Ashton asked as he crushed the tape he had made under his foot, "You may always BE one step ahead of me…but you'll see! I'll come up with the PLATINUM!"

'I'm tried of him always following me around but eh. What are you going to do about it? I don't see WHY though' Naruto thought

"Boss! He DIDN'T put that banana peel there!" his cameraman said as he picked up the remains of the tape, "ARG! But…we'll just follow him until we see him do something weird!" Ashton said determined, "That's Idea Platinum!"

"That's what we HAVE been doing" The second cameraman said with a laugh, but the first one jabbed him in the stomach.

"You're soooo smart Ashton!" The first one said smiling, "Yes. I am. C'mon he's getting AWAY!" Ashton said hurrying after him.

"He's heading towards a Ramen bar!" the second cameraman said pointing towards it.

**4 hours later! **

"He's been eating that stuff for 4 HOURS!" The cameraman said in complete shock, "Yeah…that's why we're taping it!" Ashton said with a smile.

"Taping it?" The first one asked in shock, "We're YOU taping it?" The second one whispered to the first.

He shook his head, the second one groaned.

"You're taping it aren't you?" Ashton said his voice wavering, the first and second put their heads down in shame.

"But don't worry…I have a better IDEA! Idea SILVER!" The second said with a grin, "Why isn't it gold?" asked Ashton.

The second shrugged, "Because I'm the SECOND cameraman! After days and days of researching I've come down to the conclusion that Naruto has feelings for the girl named Sakura…If we send him a love note from her, then He'll be Punked if he FALLS for it!" The second cameraman said proudly, while the others listened.

"I see, so if we send him the note he'll fall for it and he'll be Punked!" Ashton said nodding, "That's what I said" second said with a sigh.

**After 3 days… **

"The NOTE is finished!" Ashton said with a grin as he waved around the scented stationary, "Where have you two BEEN!" The first cameraman asked, "Ashton INSISTED on pink scented stationary" the other cameraman said with a sigh.

"Let's send it to him…Naruto shall be Punked" Ashton said as the three laughed evilly.

_Later that day… _

"Naruto! You got mail! Why does you're mail always come to MY house?" Sakura said angrily as she threw him the pink envelope.

"Well…it says it's from you to you! Sakura…you shouldn't send yourself mail! It's not healthy!" Naruto said shaking his head in pity.

"It says it's to you from ME!" Sakura said grabbing the piece of paper and reading it, she screamed in horror. Naruto leaned in to read the letter and gasped in surprise.

"Wow. I never knew you felt that way about me!" Naruto said with his eyes shining, "I don't. This isn't from me!" Sakura said simply, she had her scream. Not much to do now.

"ASHTON!" Naruto screamed in anger ripping the love note in half. A strange man with red hair and a weird outfit went running by.

"JETSON!" His boss screamed as he ran after this Jetson.

"Dammit!" Ashton swore from behind the bush, he knew he should have come with the cameramen for company but he wanted to bask in the glory by himself! He turned his head to see a girl with short hair and pale eyes.

He stared at her in shock for a minute…how long has she BEEN there?

"Um, hi. No autographs" Ashton told her in a low tone so Naruto wouldn't notice he was stalking him, "Why are you following Naruto?" she whispered to him in a low tone, "I'm trying to punk him!" Ashton replied.

"Oh" she said nodding, "Why are you here?" Ashton asked her…it was scary how quiet she was, that he didn't notice he was sharing the bush with her.

"I sort of follow Naruto everywhere" she said back, "What about the rest of them?" Ashton said pointing at the group of people behind the bush.

The group of people included Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kisame, Itachi, Kabuto and Orochimaru.

"I think they're stalking Sasuke…but I think that Shikamaru and Chouji are only here because Ino's here," Hinata whispered to him.

"Who's Suskay?" Ashton asked spelling them out, it was hard saying their names sometimes…

"The handsomest, most YUMMIEST guy I've EVER seen!" Orochimaru said blushing and giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Yeah!" chorused Ino, a bit stunned by Orochimaru's words…

"Well, I'm tired of Ramen boy! I'm going to stalk Sasuke!" Ashton said walking towards the boy, but a man in a flowery cape had stopped him.

"You cannot stalk my foolish little brother!" Itachi said getting all possessive, "Excuse me! Looks like No hands and Barbie do it ALL the time!"

Orichimaru and Ino looked down ashamed, "Yeah. And she drags me and Chouji along too!" Shikamaru said sighing, Kabuto and Kisame just nodded as if they understood what the two were going through.

"He's MY brother!" Itachi said angrily, "Uh. Itachi? You've lost ALL brotherly duties" Kisame told him gently, "What do you mean ALL? How was I supposed to know that killing the whole clan except for him was one of his _buttons_?" Itachi said sadly.

Orichimaru began to laugh nervously glad he hadn't done that.

"At least I know that NOW!" Orichimaru said chuckling softly till it died out.

"B-But, I can't stop Ashton from stalking Sasuke?" Itachi said with a gasp, putting his hand over his mouth for a more dramatic effect.

"You could always just kill him instead" Chouji said brightly, Shikamaru, Ino, and Hinata stared at Chouji in horror.

"And THAT would stop him?" Itachi asked him, Kabuto started laughing.

"It would stop him from doing a hell of a lot of other things too!" he snorted out as the rest of the group laughed…except Ashton.

"Heh. You're right. But CAN I take the risk of killing someone?" Itachi said stopping the laughter.

"Well, it's not like you haven't killed before…" Kisame pointed out as Itachi suddenly had worry on his face, "I suppose-GET BACK HERE!" Itachi demanded pointing at the tiptoeing celeb.

Itachi smirked at him but Orochimaru's wait stopped his wrath of death, "What?" he hissed out.

"Before you kill him…may I?" Orochimaru asked, Itachi hesitated but simply nodded.

Kabuto picked up Orochimaru's arm knowingly and slapped Ashton across the face, a smile came on his face.

"Thank you Ashton for the memory…now please, be rid of Kelso!" Orochimaru said using Ashton's name in that's 70's show, which Karma DOESN'T own.

Without the gory details and Hinata's horrified look, Ashton is finished.

"Does this mean I'm a GOOD brother?" Itachi asked them, "If you saved him from THAT yes, yes you are." Shikamaru told him, stepping over his body.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Itachi screamed in horror, running.

"I thought he'd be happy" Sakura said, "Stupid RABBIT! Trix are for kids," Itachi said grabbing the box from the rabbit that kicked the ground angrily.

_The moral is that you dumb rabbits stay the HELL away from Trix! It's like nicotine to those guys… _

**Karma: **Ashton ISN'T dead in real life; I don't hate him…or nothing! It's just wondering what it's like if Naruto would be on Punk'd! Anyways, the next chapter is…The Perfect Meal. Where Chouji decides to create the perfect meal for Shikamaru, but things go _wrong_. 3 more filler chapter to go!


	15. Perfect Meal

**Karma: **Anyways, 2nd last filler chapter to go! Enjoy?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Chouji, Shikamaru, Ino, Sakura, Sasuke, or any other character that I'll just put in at my pathetic attempt to be funny. Lolz.

**Attention**: This story isn't Yaoi )

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! 

Chapter 15: The perfect meal

Chouji is soooo sweet, so he decided to cook something for his best friend! He would do anything for Shikamaru and this just happened to be one of anything's

He didn't know WHAT he wanted to cook for him, so he thought and he thought.

He knew that Shikamaru liked chips but that was something that he couldn't exactly make, probably cookies would be the easy for someone like him who's never cooked before.

Chouji skipped all the way to the store, inside. He saw Gaara getting some ingredients as if he knew what he was doing, unlike Chouji.

"Uh. Gaara?" Chouji said approaching him, Gaara looked at him and went back to what he was doing.

Normally that would have been all Chouji would have taken, and just have left...but he wanted this to be PERFECT so he decided that maybe talking to Gaara would help him?

"Gaara! I need to make cookies!" Chouji said angrily, Gaara looked at him for a minute.

"Go to aisle 7, you'll find Pillsbury product for cookies…all you have to do is put it in a cookie pan, and heat it up" Gaara told him with NO emotion on his face, Chouji smiled at him.

"Thanks. You're good at cooking aren't you?" Chouji asked him, Gaara blushed slightly and went back to his stuff.

"Bye!" Chouji said going to the 7th aisle, Gaara just nodded.

"Hmm, Pillsbury?" Chouji said picking it up, "Wow. This is easier than Gaara said!"

Chouji paid for it, leaving he bumped into Ino.

"Hi Ino! What are you doing here?" Chouji asked, "I'm here to get some stuff…Why are you here? Oh. Wait, never mind!" Ino said with a laugh leaving him.

Shrugging, he left for home…there is REALLY no need for me to write about the walk home because he _now_ lives across the store so there really wasn't much of a walk for him.

"What are you doing, son?" Chouji's father asked as he poked his head around the corner, "I'm making some cookies for Shikamaru!" Chouji said.

"You were always the kindest of our clan, do you need help?" he asked, Chouji shook his head.

"Nope." Chouji said, "Go and have fun with Shikamaru's dad and Ino's dad!"

Pillsbury boy starts to giggle.

"Mm-Hmm! Wake up every morning to the scent of WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" The Pillsbury doughboy went from giggling to screeching in horror as the rolling pin…you get the picture.

"CHOUJI!" His father said screamed.

"Did I do something wrong?" Chouji said dropping the rolling pin, his dad smiled shaking his head.

"You're supposed to keep on rolling till the face turns blue…don't stop now!" his dad said rolling it over the doughboy again, "Oh. Thanks" Chouji said smiling.

Eventually his wonderful cookies for Shikamaru were done! He decided to get Shikamaru to come over to his house for a surprise, so off he went!

Since I'm not going to write about Chouji's skip there let's jump all the way to Shikamaru shall we?

"Hi Shikamaru!" Chouji said smiling, "Hmm? Oh hi, Chouji" Shikamaru said looking down from the clouds, "I have a surprise at MY house for YOU!" Chouji said grinning, but looked rather maniacal.

"A surprise…couldn't you have brought it here?" Shikamaru said yawing, "Oh. Right!" Chouji said starting to skip back home.

"Wait. I'll go with you! What's the surprise?" Shikamaru asked, "It's a SURPRISE!" Chouji replied.

I'm NOT writing about the walk, so we're at Chouji's door now!

"It's in here! Close you're eyes!" Chouji said opening the door, suspecting the warm smell of cookies…but none were there.

"Uh" Chouji said as he looked around for the cookies, "Can I open my eyes now?" Shikamaru asked.

"N-No! DON'T!" Chouji screamed, as he looked HARDER for the cookies by they were nowhere to be found.

"You know what?" Chouji said pushing Shikamaru out the door, "Come back later and THAN they'll be a REAL surprise"

"Tsk. It's too troublesome to come back here…but I guess since there's a surprise it can't be helped" Shikamaru muttered walking back towards the place where Chouji had found him.

After 3 minutes of searching for his delicious cookies, he decided that a cake was a LOT more appreciative!

"I know! I'll make him a cake! That's a lot more appreciative!" Chouji said as he skipped ALL the way to the 9th aisle in the grocery store!

"Hmm, I'm going to make him a cake…so I think I'll just get the instant stuff because he's going to come to my house soon for the surprise!" Chouji said as he grabbed a box of instant cake mix.

After the regular mocking from the cashier about his weight, he went back home to cook Shikamaru's cake.

"O…okay, this is a bit more complicated than the cookies," he thought as he threw in some eggs, after the cake was finished…Chouji saw his delicious Death by chocolate cake and smiled to himself.

"Now _this_ is a surprise!" he said as she put it right on the kitchen table so he wouldn't lose the cookies like last time.

Chouji skipped all the way to the place he had found Shikamaru before, "SHIKAMARU! It's READY!" Chouji said.

"It's been half an hour you know…" Shikamaru said as he looked at his watch, "I know but it was hard" Chouji said as he skipped home whereas Shikamaru walked to his house.

"Okay! Close your eyes!" Chouji said as he opened the door expecting the warm smell of freshly baked cake, yet again it WASN'T there!

"You're not going to push me out the door again are you?" Shikamaru said with a sigh, "You really ARE smart!" Chouji said as he pushed him out the door.

"Where did my cake and Cookies go?" Chouji said pouting until he came up with a brilliant idea, "I'll cook LOTS of food so they can't ALL go missing and this time when I cook it!"

Chouji hurried off across the street into the store, bought instant bread, instant mashed potatoes, instant pizza, and lots of fruit, already made cookies, soda and a large birthday cake.

"Heh. You really love your food don't you?" The cashier said with a laugh as he bagged his food, "Stuff it ACNE!" Chouji said grabbing his groceries and leaving with dignity!

After an hour all the food was ready, and all was looking good!

Running to Shikamaru's house to see him enjoying his dinner, "Chouji? Is the surprise ready?" Shikamaru asked him.

"Yes…but I see you're already eating so…" Chouji said leaving, "Oh. Well then let's go! I thought I was going to have to actually EAT her cooking" Shikamaru said with a laugh leaving the house as his mother swore quite vividly about her son.

They finally reached his house when they saw that all the food had disappeared AGAIN!

"The surprise is at the Ramen place that Naruto always eats at!" Chouji said pushing him out the door as they both left for the Ramen bar.

**Meanwhile… **

"Is Ino here? I need to return the video of Sasuke I borrowed" Sakura said walking with Ino's mom, to see Ino enjoying a LOT of food.

"Wow Ino! Where did you get all this food?" Sakura said surveying the cookies, cake, bread, mashed potatoes, pizza, fruit, and SODA!

"Sasuke got it for me!" Ino cried out, "Because he LOVES me, I tell you" Ino said as she stuffed a cookie into her mouth, "ME!" Ino shrieked out.

"Ok…I'll just leave you then" Sakura said backing up out of the house, leaving the blonde.

"Me, Sakura!" Ino screeched as her head popped out of the window. "MEEEEE!"

_The moral is to remember to lock you're door when there's delirious blonds lurking about! _

**KDZ**: One LAST filler chapter to go! Which explains Hinata and Tenten's recovery to sanity, has Hinata's hitting old people thing gone away? Has Tenten come at PEACE with her teacher, and fellow classmates? Has Ino finally realized that Sasuke and Sakura- aren't really together? Only time will tell, or the next chapter! Review please!

Shanghai honey: LOL! Glad you like the filler chapters ) Thanks for the reviews!

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	16. Gaara the Iron Chef part 1

**Karma: **Ok, assume Hinata recovered or is she? Tenten's on the verge of being ok, AND Ino still thinks Sasuke and Sakura are together because she's INO. Now, I bet you've been waiting for this day, right? The plan? Was Gai-Sensei's plan a FLUKE? _Hmm_…let's read on…

**Disclaimer: **I DON'T own any of the Naruto characters or anyone else "special" I might just add in.

**Attention**: I have nothing against the special guest in this chapter.

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! 

Chapter 17: Gaara the Iron Chef! Part 1

Kankuro hears moaning coming from the kitchen, "This is fantastic Gaara!" Temari's said with a giggle, as Kankuro's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets!

"OH MY GAWD!" Kankuro said as he stepped into the kitchen as Temari gasped in shock. "YOU STARTED DINNER WITHOUT ME? " Kankuro accused pointing to Temari's pasta sauced-covered mouth.

"Um…NO!" Temari said as she hid the pasta behind her, "Liar!" Kankuro choked out trying not to cry. 'Well, that's the last time you try on MY make up! If you were out, I could have lent you some money! But NOOOO" Temari said as she stuffed another forkful of Pasta in her mouth, of course not forgetting to moan.

"Uh…I'll have-a what she's having!" an old man said pointing to Temari for Gaara. Gaara nodded slowly as he piled up a plate for the advisor and Kankuro.

"Gaara, you should totally enter that thing that's going on in Konoha" Temari said as she grabbed Kankuro's plate from him.

"Why should I? I don't enter contests…or I'm not allowed to anymore" Gaara said coolly as Kankuro's sobbing was heard in the background.

"Yeah…you shouldn't have killed ALL the judges just because you can't sing, BUT this contest in Konoha so they don't KNOW what you did to…ALL…those people unless they read the paper," Temari said as she slapped Kankuro's hand away from his plate, which she was gladly eating.

"She has a point-a," The man said in a heavy Italian accent as he rolled his mustache around his finger, as Kankuro stopped crying to look at the elder man.

"Who the hell are you?" Kankuro asked him as he looked around for his poisonous Barbie doll, and cursed. She was never around when you needed her.

"I am-a Chef Boyardee! You can't catch me I am-a spaghetti man!" Chef Boyardee said hurdling out the window.

"O…Kay, but don't let that weird man stop you from winning the Iron Chef award!" Temari said handing him the letter from Konoha to them.

**THE IRON CHEF! **

**All you people from ages 10-16 get read for the IRON CHEF AWARD! Sasuke WILL be there! You'll get to win a grand trophy, 2 complete grand tickets to Hawaii and a broken heart from SASUKE! **

**You'll be famous, basking in the sand AND rejected! October 14th! At 1:00 p.m.! Don't miss it! Remember SASUKE will be there! **

**1,000 dollars per entry, to bring in a main dish to show you've got the stuff to the judges…AND SASUKE!**

**And if you name has three A's in it please don't come…we beg of you. Anyways, don't forget SASUKE!**

"What's with the Sasuke thing?" Temari mumbled as she read the letter, "You just want to go to Hawaii" Kankuro yelled at her as she slammed him to the floor.

"I'm not going" Gaara said simply as he let out a girlish shriek.

"My GINGERBREAD!" he squealed out as he pulled it out, only to look up to see Temari staring at him in shock.

" If you EVER speak out that again" Gaara warned as he viciously took off his manly oven mitts, "only if you enter the contest" Temari said, seeing she finally had the advantage over her brother,

"Fine" Gaara said as he started for the roof, "Aren't you going to catch some Z's?" Temari called to him, "Does this LOOK like make-up to you?" Gaara snapped pointing to his eyes.

"Right" Temari mumbled as she gave her other brother a good kick in the shins.

_OCTOBER 14TH_

"Damn it!" Didn't we tell him not to come?" The judge whispered to the other as Gaara glared angrily at him.

That glare stopped the judges in their tracks as they gave each other's look and ran…away from Konoha.

1 hour later…

"What TOOK you so long, Kakashi?" Kurenai asked in disbelief, "We asked you to come here over an hour ago, because the judges had run away"

"I was attacked by some Amazon women who wanted me to marry them ALL and-" Kakashi was cut off by Gai-Sensei.

"Save it! It's 59/60! You're 60…but I'm catching _on_…" Gai-Sensei said mysteriously as Kakashi rolled his eye.

Meanwhile…

"Where groom Kakashi go?" an Amazon asked looking around for the sexy gray-haired ninja. "I don't know" She replied as they set out to find their groom.

Back to the Iron Chef Competition…

"HELLO! Welcome to the Iron Chef competition" Gai-Sensei said striking a pose as a delighted squeal was heard from the audience.

"Shut up, Rock Lee" Neji said throwing a pan at furry eye-browed boy.

Kurenai grabbed the microphone from him, "HEY! This is my job! What are you doing here?" Kurenai asked Gai-Sensei angrily.

"I-um. Well. KAKASHI WAS PICKING ON ME" Gai-Sensei wailed as Kurenai pointed to the Judges booth. Gai-Sensei trudged back to the Judges section where Kakashi had put his fist into his palm in a menacing manner.

Gai-Sensei let out a little _eep_.

"Welcome to the Iron Chef competition!" Kurenai said as applause went around except for a single, BOO!

The sound of skull and pan rang out through the room.

"You didn't have to hit him so hard" Hinata said in a soft voice as Neji glared at the unconscious Lee, "I didn't hit him hard enough the first time" he growled out.

"Neji! Stop hitting Rock Lee! You're worse than-" Gai-Sensei was cut off as he turned to his left to see Kakashi drawing a picture of him murdering Gai-Sensei.

"Asuma!" Gai-Sensei squealed jumping into Asuma's arms, Asuma just sighed as he thought to himself…why ALWAYS me?

Kurenai just ignored the interruption and continued on.

"We've narrowed down the meals that you've prepared to 12 groups. Just make another meal but make a main course, appetizer, dessert…oh and a drink. I'm thirsty" Kurenai said as she put down the microphone to pull the angry Sensei's off Gai-Sensei.

Gaara looked around to see his competitors, the Naruto-guy, The Uchiha, Hyuuga Hinata, Orichimaru & Kabuto (probably just stalking Sasuke, he's heard that's he would be there), Sakura, that bastard Chef Boyardee, Ino, Chouji (That guy from the grocery store), Rock Lee &Neji, Tenten, Kiba and Shino.

Gaara slipped on his apron that said: Too Hot for the Kitchen and bumped into his older sister and almost poked his eye out with her hair.

"What are we making?" Temari asked him happily, Gaara sighed. This _girl_ was becoming quite the bothersome, what was with this sudden interest in him. Oh right, it started with an H and rhymes with Shawaii, if you didn't guess it's Hawaii.

"For the appetizers, I was thinking Tomatoes stuffed with cream cheese, to go on with the Italian theme I decided to go with. Then, I was thinking rustic style pasta for the main course because of course I was thinking rural Italy and not fancy Italy…for the main course I was thinking biscotti for dessert for the authentic Italian taste" Gaara said as he started to prepare the pasta.

"Okay" Temari said shrugging as she reached for an onion, but Gaara instinctively slapped her hand away. Temari sniffled as she checked to see if her hand was ok, "what?" Temari sniffed as Gaara gave her a disgusted look. "What do you think you're doing?" Gaara asked her, "helping out?" Temari guessed.

"Well…don't. I don't want you help, go read a teen magazine or something. _I'll_ do the work, thank you," Gaara said as he turned his back on his sister. The rejected girl picked up Teen People magazine and gave her brother a pained look as she read about Lindsey Lohan's transformation.

The groups worked and worked, for THEY wanted to be the next Iron Chef! Plus, who didn't want to be rejected by SASUKE!

1 hour later…

"DONG!" Kurenai yelled, as everyone looked up from the meals to stare at her in disbelief. "What was THAT?" Asuma said turning around to see Kurenai standing there like quite a little fool.

"Well, the Iron Chef forgo to buy a dong, so I had to say it…how else would they have known time was up?" Kurenai told him as if he was stupid.

_DONG! _

The noise of a real dong had startled her, as she turned around in shock to see a mini dong as Kakashi handed it to her. "Thanks a lot" Kurenai said sarcastically as she grabbed the dong.

"You're WELCOME" Gai-Sensei said happily, "Everyone it's time for the taste test! Kakashi, Kurenai, Gay and I will be the judges" Asuma said jumping off the platform with his super-duper handy clipboard.

"It's pronounced Gai" Gai-Sensei said between clenched teeth, "whatever" Asuma said acting like Kakashi as fury built up in Gai-Sensei. How he hated the COOL act, it was SO cool it was uncool- yeah…REAL uncool.

The four Jounins made their way to Naruto's station who was basically waving them down, and not to be rude they decided to go over there instead of ignoring the poor boy.

"Well, Naruto-Kun what have you made for us today?" Kurenai said cheerfully, as Naruto cleared his throat.

"For the main course I have prepared INSTANT RAMEN! For the appetizer I have prepared Miso ramen, for dessert if beef ramen 'Cuz it's always the best and for the pretty lady" Naruto paused to send Kurenai a little wink which turned out to look more like a nervous tick.

"Blended Ramen" Naruto said smiling, pushing the cup with some weird concoction inside, Kurenai let out a nervous laugh as she swirled around the cup and saw a bobbing piece of mushroom in there, she gagged a little and put down the drink.

"I'm not thirsty anymore" Kurenai said as Naruto's eyes widened hurt, as Asuma grabbed the drink and prayed to god he'd be okay as he chugged it down before Kurenai would have to.

"HEY! HEYYY! That wasn't for YOU!" Naruto cried out angrily as he watched Asuma gulp down his drink, "KUREANAIII" Naruto wailed as Asuma slammed the cup on the table. He had survived but was feeling rather ill.

"It's ok, other tables with drinks on it" Kurenai said cheerfully as she walked away, Naruto shot Asuma a dirty look like Shino had once given him…something about a Melinda? Shino still gave him those looks today they are spine tingling. You know he's glaring at you but you can't see his eyes!

Asuma walked away from Naruto's table over to Chef Boyardee's.

With Kurenai she was walking innocently over to the other booth only to see an elder man, Kurenai eyes narrowed for a minute- where has she seen him before?

"Aren't you in the bingo book?" Kurenai gasped, as she saw none other than Orichimaru himself. "Why yes, I _do_ play Bingo" Orichimaru said as Kabuto covered Orichimaru's mouth modestly as Orichimaru did a little chuckle.

Kurenai raised her eyebrow, what kind of a story did this man think he was in? Kurenai shook her head as she went back to trying to take this issue that responsible way.

"Hand me those binoculars, would you?" Orichimaru cooed as he nodded his head towards the binoculars, since he could not get them himself.

Kurenai sighed as she handed them to Kabuto who raised them for Orichimaru as he looked into them, and his gaze reached none other than Sasuke's ass.

"You can't stare at a minor's ass like that," Kurenai, gasped as Orichimaru snickered, "Watch me" Orichimaru sneered as Sasuke bet down to pick up the fallen wooden spoon. Sasuke looked at his left and right and put the spoon RIGHT back into the pot.

"Ooh, that's right. You LIKE it nasty" Orichimaru said laughing as Kabuto struggled to make the meal and hold the binoculars at the same time for Orichimaru's enjoyment.

"Stop it!" Kurenai said as she grabbed the binoculars back so Orichimaru couldn't grab them back, because he had no hands.

"Where's your meal?" Kurenai asked them as she saw Orichimaru straining to see Sasuke's behind, but couldn't because he needed the binoculars- Sasuke wasn't very close by.

"What we made is Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches" Kabuto said proudly as he showed it to Kurenai who just rolled her eyes. "For a drink, we have MILK! The appetizer is a delicious apple and for desert, it's SASUKE" Orichimaru growled his sexiest growl which actually sounded demented to Kurenai's ears.

"Uh Huh" Kurenai said as she pretended to write something down and walked away, she'd call ANBU on those pedophiles LATER, but she had judging to do. She shuffled over to Chouji's booth.

_Back with Gai-Sensei…_

"What do you MEAN you didn't make anything? You have HAD to make SOMETHING" Gai-Sensei shrieked in Ino's ear but Ino just sighed.

She had been too busy glaring angrily at Sakura, that she had forgotten to make anything at all. She wished she hadn't eaten Chouji…I mean SASUKE'S food and had just presented Chou-**Sasuke**'s meal.

Gai-Sensei muttered angrily about how she was wasting her Youthfulness as Ino turned around to glare at Sakura again- it was ALL her fault!

Gai-Sensei looked around for another booth but couldn't spot one in his area for some reason. Gai-Sensei grew pissed as he started to have a fit on the floor- this idea of his was completely stupid. He hated this competition dearly and wished it would choke on a stupid spatula and die.

**KDZ**: well now you've read, so review? I'll update in 2 months. Have a happy summer!


	17. Gaara the Iron Chef part 2

**Karma: **Just because it's CALLED Gaara the Iron Chef doesn't mean he wins…right? Oh, about the 2 month wait- I wrote that in the wrong story (Roommates from Hell have a 1 month wait)

**Disclaimer: **I DON'T own any of the Naruto characters OR Chef Boyardee.

**Attention**: I think Neji/Sakura is a wack couple…maybe they'll be together in this story since this story is the epitome of wack. Thinking about it.

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! 

Chapter 18: Gaara the Iron Chef! Part 2

Kakashi strolled around until he finally found his area, and he stopped at one of his student's booth first because he wanted to see what they had first.

"Well, Sakura! What do you have for me today?" Kakashi said as she saw Sakura covered in flour from almost head to toe, for some reason her left leg didn't have anything at all- it also looked quite suspicious for some reason or another.

"I have CAKE!" Sakura said as she showed it to him, "well...what's the main course?" Kakashi asked her. "That IS the main course" Sakura said confused, Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"What do you have for dessert than?" Kakashi questioned the pink-haired girl; "Obviously cake is the dessert too," Sakura said rolling her eyes.

"Oh" Kakashi said stupefied, he decided not to ask his student anymore questions. She was quite confusing…

Kakashi leaned in as he looked at the cake and his eye widened in almost shock, was this cake in the shape of Sasuke's head? Kakashi nodded solemnly, only that weirdo could rock the bed head look- even if he was an asshole.

"Oh, if you noticing the shape of the cake is quite odd it's Sasuke's head-shape. If your wondering why it's SO perfect is because I got a stencil shape of Sasuke's head" Sakura told her Sensei, "when you were stuck together?" Kakashi asked her. "No. I got this _fresh_ stencil two nights ago…in his sleep" Sakura said jangling the key of Sasuke's house around her neck, her teachers eyes narrowed as he reminded himself not to ask her questions.

The inside of the cake was one of those cakes where there's like real pictures but you can eat them too, they were all pictures of Sasuke. Changing, eating rice balls, long hair?

Kakashi knew he had told himself not to ask her questions but he narrowed his eye to see…NEJI?

"Is that Neji?" Kakashi said pointing to a picture, "Huh? NO" Sakura shrieked angrily.

"That's one of him too…and another…and another…and ANOTHER?" Kakashi said pointing to the yes, in fact pictures of Neji.

Sakura's face turned an undeniably color of red as she stuck her hand in the cake, and started moving it around as she messed up the cake. Kakashi watched her in horror; he hadn't even tasted the Sasuke/Neji cake.

"I. HATE. YOU" Sakura growled out as she grabbed a kitchen knife, Kakashi took this as his cue to go as he jogged off. Sakura was NOT far behind…

Back with Kurenai… 

Kurenai walked up to Chouji's table anxiously, she could smell the aroma of food…delicious food, lots and **lots** of food.

Kurenai looked around FOR the food, but weirdly found nothing.

"Hi Chouji" Kurenai said as she had stopped at Asuma's student's booth. "Hi" Chouji replied weakly, he was sad.

"Aw, Chouji! What's wrong" Kurenai said trying to be nice but REALLY wanted that food. Gai-Sensei had made up some messed rule in which they weren't allowed to have breakfast or lunch because it would spoil their decisions.

"Well, you see. I wanted to work really hard to make a great meal, so I could win the Iron Chef award! Then Asuma would like me too! 'Cuz everyone knows he really only likes Shikamaru. Shikamaru's my best friend in all, but I'd like it if Asuma liked me too" Chouji informed her. Kurenai felt a fury of anger burn inside her! Was Asuma favoring one student over the other? Then again, it was always Chuunin this and Chuunin that with Asuma.

Kurenai opened her arms so Chouji could give her a big hug, in mid-embraced Kurenai asked Chouji where had the food gone.

"I ate it" Chouji said happily, Kurenai took a step back in shock. "You WHAT?" Kurenai said in disbelief. "I ate…the food," Chouji said watching Kurenai's first pity eyes turn into fury.

"YOU LITTLE-" Kurenai had caught herself right on time before she went off on the little kid. She couldn't BELIEVE IT! Here, this kid was sobbing about how he wanted to show Asuma all the work he had done and then ATE IT!

That was worse than Shino's fake-sob story about Ronald McDonald and some crazy stuff like that. Kurenai gathered her clipboard and gave Chouji this look like 'I'm Ashamed'

Chouji broke down in tears as Kurenai had left him. He really shouldn't have hungered the vampire…

Back with Asuma… 

Asuma stared at the man in front of him in shock; he just couldn't believe this OLD MAN with a mustache was claming to be 11.

"For the last-a time, I am-a age 11" the elder man in a thick Italian accent, Asuma decided not to doubt the elder man since he was clearly delirious.

"What have you made?" Asuma said as Chef Boyardee had pulled out a pot of pasta and took a spoon and handed it to Asuma, who took a hearty bite.

Asuma nodded in approve-ment, as there was actually meat in the pasta itself, which amazed him like nothing before. Oh, he was SURELY going to win. Until, Asuma's eyes traveled to the garbage can where he saw cans.

"EH?" Asuma said as he saw that the pasta had actually- COME FROM A CAN!

And that was against the rules…or Asuma was sure it was, he wasn't really sure but it had to have been cheating.

"So, I see. So, I see. THIS is from a CAN" Asuma announced to only Chef Boyardee really.

"So?" Chef Boyardee said as he raised an eyebrow, "That's against the rules" Asuma declared. Well, it was _now_.

"This is-a from MY can" Chef Boyardee said showing him the can had _his_ face on it and _his_ name.

"Oh" Asuma said deadpanned, but shook himself out of it. "Nope, still against the rules" Asuma informed him. "IT'S MY PASTA!" Chef Boyardee shrieked at the Sensei but Asuma just shook his head.

"Still a can" Asuma said as he picked up a red stamp and stamped disqualified on his name.

"Plus, you're not even 11- you liar" Asuma spat out as Chef Boyardee gathered his things into a hobo pack, and gave Asuma a disgusted look.

"This is-a NOT over" Chef Boyardee growled out as he thrusted himself through the closed window, as the glass shattered.

"Send-a me the check" Chef Boyardee cried out as he ran off into the distance…

"Freak" Asuma muttered as he went on to his next booth.

_Back with Gai-Sensei_…

Gai-Sensei threw an angry fit on the floor as he noticed there actually WAS a booth there; he had been making a fuss in front of it and just didn't notice it because Hinata isn't noticeable.

Gai-Sensei looked up to see her, and flinched back AGHAST! Wasn't she supposed to be in the wacky shack?

Knowing she would be just as evil as Neji, but worse…oh, Tenten and her were two peas in a pod and he wouldn't let her get the best of him.

He sniffed as he walked up to her booth, and she smiled shyly- Gai-Sensei replied with a dirty look.

"What did you make?" Gai-Sensei asked her as she yet again shyly showed him her banquet for a king.

Gai-Sensei took one look at it and threw it to the floor in disgust.

"MAKE IT AGAIN!" Gai-Sensei barked angrily as Hinata gasped in horror, her meal…her hard work. Hinata decided not to do what her instincts told her and washed her hands getting ready to make the meal again.

Gai-Sensei turned on his heel and walked away, oh! He would NOT let her get the best of him, for he was Gai-Sensei, in all his spandex-glory.

Back with Kakashi-Sensei 

Kakashi had finally lost Sakura- or so, he had hoped as he decided to go over to Rock Lee and Neji's booth to see what they had made.

Kakashi was speechless. As, he saw their…creation? There before him stood a life-size statue of Gai-Sensei made out of food.

For that, he was speechless.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Rock Lee sighed as he adjusted the white Chiclets that was supposed to be Gai-Sensei's teeth.

"I can think of a couple of other words" Kakashi said with a shudder, **disturbing** was one.

"Why would you pick do…this?" Kakashi stumbled to find the right words, "well…Rock Lee wouldn't stop crying unless I agreed to make a life-size food statue of Gai-Sensei" Neji told the Sensei.

Kakashi gave Rock Lee a dry look, there was a thin line between admiration and obsession- Rock Lee had crossed that line over and over again. He didn't look like he'd stop anytime soon.

"So, Gai-Sensei, huh?" Kakashi let out a sigh, this was too weird…ONE Matio Gai was bad enough but TWO and one was edible. No, the world didn't need THAT.

Kakashi did the only humanly thing to do, he gathered his courage and knocked over the statue of Gai. There could only be ONE. If Kakashi could get rid of the other one too, then justice has been served.

Now, Rock Lee and Neji were speechless. All that work into making the perfect Gai-Sensei statue…gone. Actually, Rock Lee did the work and Neji just hung around- he couldn't read the recipe so he was really no help.

Sakura basically popped out of nowhere, and gave out the fakest smile Kakashi had ever seen in his life. "Hi, guys" Sakura said waving towards Neji and Rock Lee.

"Sakura-CHAAAAN" Rock Lee sobbed jumping into Sakura's arms; Sakura dropped him and walked over to Neji.

"Hi, NEJI" Sakura said in a raspy voice, Kakashi had assumed it was to give off a breathy voice. It sounded like that weird guy in Lord Of The Rings. My precious…

"I just wanted to see what you guys made" Sakura's voice faded with every word as she noticed the pile of food on the floor.

"It's beautiful," Sakura said with a weak chuckle, "It WAS! It really WAS!" Rock Lee sobbed from the floor, and forgot all about Sakura dropping him on the floor like that.

"I see…well, since your food is destroyed- you can't win. Later" Kakashi said as he POOFED away.

Neji and Rock Lee just looked at each other in disbelief as Sakura picked up a hairy kiwi skin shaped like an-

"Eyebrow?" Sakura mumbled as she looked at the piece of kiwi skin. Sakura shook her head and walked away, she'd jut talk to him- I mean THEM later…Neji seemed pretty busy.

"It's just not FAIR" Rock Lee wailed as he wiped his nose on Neji's very clean, very white shirt. The longhaired boy sighed; he knew this competition would just be wack.

**KDZ**: Only four more competitors left…Sasuke Uchiha, Itachi and Kisame, Gaara of the Desert, and Kiba and Shino. With that said, which group of the competitors would win? Find out in the next chapter of Driver's Ed: Naruto style! Gaara the Iron Chef part 3!


	18. Gaara the Iron Chef part 3

**Karma: **2nd last part of Gaara the Iron Chef! Who will win? You'll find out soon enough. Thanks for the reviews!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own ANYTHING or ANYONE mentioned in this chapter- 'cept the plot. Oh, and the jokes...

**Attention**: I think I hinted at Neji/Sakura, hmm…

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! 

Chapter 19: Gaara the Iron Chef! Part 3

Kurenai walked over to her last booth, which was where Itachi and Kisame would be waiting to give her their food.

Though Kurenai only saw Itachi on the floor, washing away blood?

Yes, blood. It was EVERYWHERE!

Itachi wringed the sponge as the blood dripped out into the basin, Kurenai approached with a wry smile on her face. What was with all the blood?

"Itachi?" Kurenai said as she watched Itachi sigh sadly. Itachi turned around to see Kurenai watching him with interest.

Itachi just took out some kind of casserole out of the oven as he took of his oven mitts. "What's with all the blood?" Kurenai said lightly tapping the blood on the cupboard.

"Oh, it's just that I like my ingredients fresh you know" Itachi said with a funny look in his eye, Kurenai raised a brow but decided that some people just liked their ingredients fresh.

Itachi gave another sigh as Kurenai gave him a meaningful look. "What's wrong?" Kurenai asked him, as Itachi just looked away shyly. "Oh, it's nothing" Itachi said as he immediately turned around.

"I just fought with Kisame, it was horrible. We kept yelling and screaming! He didn't want to do this competition. He said I've CHANGED since I've heard about this competition- swore all I did was learn to cook and neglect him and his needs" Itachi gushed out as Kurenai nodded her head, as she understood his problem.

"That sounds pretty bad" Kurenai told him, "yes, it was" Itachi said as he pulled out his squeegee to finish cleaning up the blood.

"What kind of food did you make, for the competition?" Kurenai asked him, "Oh. I only made casserole," Itachi mumbled.

Kurenai picked up a fork and took a bite out of the casserole and was amazed at how rich and wonderful it tasted.

"What is this?" Kurenai said amazed, "Hmm? Oh, just Shark Casserole" Itachi informed her as he continued to clean up the blood.

Kurenai smiled as she took another bite, "I'll be voting for you" Kurenai told Itachi, "I also hope things get better between you and Kisame"

"Oh, I doubt it" Itachi said as he threw the squeegee covered in blood in the garbage.

Back with Gai-Sensei… 

Gai-Sensei looked around confused, he was pretty sure he had two more booths. Gai-Sensei's eyes landed on Tenten, his eyes widened as he noticed he was to check her food.

He pretended he didn't see her,

"Gai-Sensei! I finished the meal," Hinata said running up to him as Gai-Sensei saw he had made her another little feast, Gai-Sensei chuckled evilly- he had put her in her place.

Then, he saw it; it was like determination in her eyes- it disgusted him.

"There's a HAIR in my SUSHI!" Gai-Sensei lied as he threw her food to the floor, "This is NOT Iron Chef material"

Hinata burned with fury as she went back to her booth, muttering about how he was just like the rest of them? Gai-Sensei made a mental note to call the Wacky Shack if they still had her room available.

Gai-Sensei looked around and saw Tenten waiting for her, he didn't like the way she enjoyed playing with the knife so much. It was quite creepy.

"GAI-SENSEI! OVER HERE!" came a loud voice, Gai-Sensei looked around to see who had yelled that. It was Kiba and Shino- and their booth was OUTSIDE?

"Why is your booth outside?" Gai-Sensei yelled out the window to them, "Shino and his bugs were a health violation, so they put us out here instead" Kiba yelled back. "It was a board of health issue," Shino muttered quietly.

Gai-Sensei looked at the young buck with the sunglasses, he looked quite ashamed of himself. Oh, Shino was ashamed indeed.

Gai-Sensei sighed as he trudged outside, oh! How youthful they looked, baking in the sun!

"What do you have for me today?" Gai asked them as they showed him their stew, "Ooh, stew" Gai-Sensei said as his mouth started to water. He got hungry, just thinking about stew.

"Would you LIKE some, Gai-Sensei" Kiba said putting it under his nose, "yes" Gai-Sensei said as they handed him a big spoon with stew.

"Ahh" Gai-Sensei took a big bite, and pulled something about of his mouth. Was Kiba and Shino's stew…a dog biscuit stew?

He cringed in horror as he saw that the whole stew was bubbling with those doggy treats. "Why…why?" Gai-Sensei whimpered they had TOTALLY destroyed his appetite.

"Hmm?" Kiba took a big sip of his stew…but something wasn't right! Kiba picked up a spoonful and saw a doggy biscuit bobbing up and down.

Kiba eyes widened in horror. Who? Why? WHEN?

Then he knew, who else could it be? Other than the bastard himself, Harry Potter!

Kiba turned to see the little geek cackling…like the little witch he was. "This isn't over yet, Potter! Oh, far from it!" Kiba yelled angrily at the warlock. Harry opened his little backpack and pulled out that ugly blanket.

"OH NO, YOU DON'T!" Kiba said as he tried to grab the blanket, but it already had been thrown on his head. Yet again, Potter had gotten away.

_Back with Kakashi…_

"Oh, hello Temari, Gaara" Kakashi said as he walked over to his own last booth.

Temari smiled warmly, whereas Gaara was pissed as hell. His pasta was getting cold!

"So? Can I see you meal?" Kakashi asked Temari, "Oh…it's not mine, it's Gaara's" Temari said titling her head towards the little red-haired boy.

"Oh…Kay" Kakashi said as he left Temari to talk to Gaara.

Long story, short…Kakashi-Sensei was impressed. He tasted their delicious appetizers, their warm pasta, and their delicious gelato, Just-a like Italy.

Kakashi walked off, but before that informed they had his vote and left to meet the rest of the Sensei's to make the final decision on who would be the next IRON CHEF! Or, the FIRST iron Chef is the appropriate term.

_Back with Asuma…_

"Why is he here? Why is he here? Why is he here?" Sasuke said as he dusted his booth from top to bottom, by far Sasuke had the cleanest booth around.

"Why is WHO here?" Asuma said startling Sasuke, "Itachi" Sasuke said staring at his brother's cape. Thinks he's so hot, because he wears a flowery cape. Not even.

"Oh, so what have you made?" Asuma asked him, "Nothing" Sasuke hissed at Asuma. "Nothing?" Asuma said amazed, "yes. Nothing. I've been too busy cleaning" Sasuke said as he spit shine the counter clean.

Asuma nodded as he saw Sasuke's booth glitter and shine, he was quite the little janitor.

"Why ARE you cleaning?" Asuma said as he saw the oven as spotless as Gai-Sensei's brain, you know like never been used.

"I clean when I get nervous" Sasuke said as he scrubbed the utensils he hasn't even used. "Well, you're pretty good at it…but you know what?" Asuma said as his voice fell to a whisper.

"What?" Sasuke whispered back, "Itachi told me that at MY house, he's going to fight you" Asuma told the raven-haired boy. "What?" Sasuke shrieked quietly.

"Come, let me show you there" Asuma said as he grabbed Sasuke's wrist to pull him along, then stopped and grabbed the Pine Sol.

"You're going to need this" Asuma informed Sasuke as they disappeared from the Iron Chef Competition.

_15 minutes later with the Sensei's _

"Where in the 7 hells is Asuma" Kurenai said as she rubbed her temples, she had a sharp pain between the eyes.

"I don't think he's around anymore," Kakashi said looking around for Asuma in the stadiums. "So, we're going to make the decision without him? Just the three of us?" Gai-Sensei looked scared, he had never done anything in threes. The number sounded SO wrong.

"We can call Iruka?" Kurenai suggested, Kakashi and Gai-Sensei both winced and told Kurenai they would be fine.

"Guess it's time to make the verdict on WHO WILL BE THE IRON CHEF!" Kakashi roared as everyone broke down into waves of applause.

"You will do ANYTHING to show me up" Gai-Sensei huffed as Kurenai sighed, Kakashi can be SUCH a show-off.

Kakashi sat down abashed at his behavior as they all discussed whom they would like to be the Iron Chef. They had decided on four finalists…

Kurenai's choice was Itachi's meal. Kakashi's choice was Gaara of the Desert's meal; Kiba and Shino's meal was the last one…the stew was crap but there was no one else to choose from.

The three finalists stared each other down; Shino of course was left outside since he was indeed a board of health issue. Though Shino was still glaring from outside the window.

WHO WILL WIN?

**KDZ**: Review and I'll tell you.


	19. Gaara the Iron Chef part 4

**Karma: **I'm not going to lie, I don't really know what stew is. I think it's like soup or something…really, I'm just guessing.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anyone who is mentioned.

**Attention**: This story isn't Yaoi, so sorry to Yaoi lovers out there?

Driver's Ed: Naruto Style! 

Chapter 20: Gaara the Iron Chef! Part 4

Kurenai, Gai, and Kakashi sat down as they waited for the three finalists to bring them their food, except Shino who still gave the other contestants the look that was usually reserved for dear Asuma who went missing with Sasuke.

It looked like a pedophile case, but everyone would look for what he'd done with Sasuke afterwards. Second of all, no one in the competition really _cared_.

Kiba, who was Gai-Sensei's choice for some reason or another, had brought up his meal. Kiba had wanted to take out the biscuits but Gai-Sensei seemed to like it SO much. He had left it in.

Kurenai and Kakashi nodded appreciatively, because everyone loves stew.

Kiba picked up the spoon and poured heaps for the three Jounins who were smiling happily as the started to grabbed their spoon to start but stopped when Gai-Sensei was giving the soup a dry stare.

"Aren't you going to try some?" Kakashi said suspiciously as Gai-Sensei just shook his head; "I'm not really hungry," he told them as his nose cringed in disgust.

'Whatever" Kurenai said as she took a big gulp and stopped mid swallow, as she put her hand into her mouth and pulled out a DOG BISCUIT?

"ACKK" Kurenai shrieked as she had just realized she had eaten dog food. Kakashi just smirked as Gai-Sensei shrugged helplessly, "with great thought it really was the best of all I've seen"

"DOG FOOD was the best you've seen?" Kurenai said angrily at the bowl-headed man, "yes. Shameful is it not?" Gai-Sensei shook his head pitiful, but felt a pang of guilt when he saw Hinata shoot him a dirty look but erased it immediately. It was for the greater good.

"Well, it's not this crap that's going to win the Iron competition" Kakashi said as he pushed his bowl away. Kiba cursed angrily in his head at that Harry Potter, it was his entire fault! Shino glared angrily from outside and spat curses to his bugs, but then apologized. It was rude to swear.

"Next one" Gai-Sensei said as he watched Kurenai try to wash the dog taste out of his mouth, oh how sickening it was indeed.

Itachi shuffled up to them as his flowery cape billowed in the wind, as he handed them his three plates of his shark casserole.

Kurenai gave him a smile, as Itachi just gave her a nod in return. She shook her head in sadness, poor Itachi.

Gai-Sensei and Kakashi took hearty bites of the casserole as Gai-Sensei gave him his 100-watt smile and a thumbs-up sign to recognize Itachi for his hard work.

"Where's Kisame?" Kakashi said looking around for Itachi's partner in crime, "Oh. We had a quarrel," Itachi said shrugging his head but still looking pained.

"What is your secret ingredient to this casserole?" Gai-Sensei asked him, "Why fresh shark of course" Itachi informed them as Kakashi face darkened as he stared at the casserole.

"I'm done" Gai-Sensei squeaked as he pushed the casserole away from him, Itachi stared at them in confusion.

Kurenai still finishing the meal, as Gai-Sensei and Kakashi gagged as she ate the casserole.

"Just as delicious when I watched you clean the blood" Kurenai told him enthusiastically, "Oh gawd, he did it here" Gai-Sensei said in shock looking around for Itachi's booth.

"Next meal?" Kakashi said proudly as his choice came up with three plates as Gai-Sensei pushed his casserole off the table, in utter disgust.

"It's an Italian dish" Kakashi told them as Gaara set it in front of them, as Kakashi gave them this look that just screamed: You better pick him.

They, in content, finished the meal and gave out happy moans as they finished their authentic Italian meal.

The 3 Jounins walked over to a corner where they did a little huddle as discussed their choices for who should be the Iron Chef.

"It sure as hell isn't Kiba and Shino" Kurenai said as he nose wrinkled in disgust, "Yeah? Well, I don't exactly like the Shark Casserole very much" Gai-Sensei spat out as Kakashi nodded in agreement with his nemesis. This was probably the only time such a thing would happen, so close your eyes and remember this moment.

'Yeah, But Gaara's is perfect" Kakashi declared as the two other Jounins shuddered that their fellow Jounin, he was right. They all mutually felt Gaara was the best among them.

"So…that settles it? Gaara of the desert wins?" Kurenai said as her voice wavered in amazement, they weren't expecting THAT.

"Are you-a joking? This meal is the utter bull shit" an old man said tasting Gaara's dish, as the three kids of the desert burned with fury- what was Chef Boyardee doing NOW?

"This is NOT authentic Italian" Chef Boyardee informed them, "It's not?" Kurenai said staring at it- looked pretty authentic.

"Who's-a the Italian?" Chef Boyardee spat out angrily, "Ok! Ok" Gai-Sensei said deciding not to mess with him. His moustache and the way it curled were quite intimidating.

"Then who WINS?" Kakashi cried out exasperated, "Why, Itachi and Kisame of course" Kurenai shot out at them as they winced.

Itachi had won. Now, that probably was something you weren't expecting.

Iruka came running up in a big pink dress and kissed Itachi on the cheek, giving him a bouquet of flowers and a tiara as Itachi cried big happy tears.

"Thanks for calling me guys" Iruka said warmly as his picked up the hems of his dress, they Jounins looked at each wondering if the other had called Iruka. They hadn't…

Suddenly, the doors of the competition were flown open by an ugly shark-man who stood there as his scales blew in the wind. Ino winced in horror as his scales flew in her hair, as Chouji tried to fish them out for her.

"Kisame?" Itachi said as his eyes widened in shock, "Oh, Itachi!" Kisame said as he walked up slowly towards the Iron Competition Champion.

"WHAAAT?" Gai-Sensei and Kakashi shrieked, they could have sworn he was dead- in a casserole to be exact.

"We should never have fought! It was foolish of me to fight with whether or not you have lost your brotherly duties! You have not! The fight isn't over yet! We'll get him in the END! Even if he we have to drug him! Even if we have to kill him! Even if we have to-" Kisame's wailing was cut off by Itachi.

"I get it" Itachi snapped, "So can we start over buddy? We'll get Sasuke in the end…together!" Kisame said as he threw his sword up in triumph as Ino screeched as she dodged it.

"Oh, I don't know Kisame. Your words were VERY harsh" Itachi said looking down at his bouquet as Kisame ran up to the front of the stage, where Itachi stood in his glory for the title of Champion.

Kisame pushed Hinata out of the way as he stood in front of Itachi. " ACKK" Hinata shrieked as she was fallen on the floor, Gai-Sensei snickered in his calloused hand as Hinata shot him a dirty look. Oh, if _only _she could just KILL him.

"Itachi-sama, have you not forgiven me?" Kisame asked him as he reached his hand out, Itachi smiled as those weird marks on his face wrinkled as he grabbed Kisame's hand and jumped off the platform.

"This is so beautiful" Kurenai cried out as tears stung her eyes, Iruka dabbed his eyes with a pink bow from his dress.

"How youthful this young couple's love is, how very youthful" Gai-Sensei sobbed as Rock Lee started clapping his hands together. The whole competition started to clap along, as they watched Itachi and Kisame sputter.

"What? COUPLE?" Kisame gasped out, "we're not a **couple**" Itachi spat out in shock and disgust.

"EHH?" the contestants all said in shock, "I'm about as gay as that guy" Itachi said pointing randomly only to reach Orichimaru. The contestants all looked at Itachi with an eyebrow raised.

"Well, I'm not GAY!" Itachi said as he donned his cape, "Now I say- GOOD DAY!" Itachi yelled at them as he stalked out of the competition.

"Itachi?" Kisame called as he tried to show him he had left his trophy. "I SAID GOOD DAY!" Itachi shrieked as he slammed the door.

"My, he's quite the poet, we should have had one of those weird bashes where everybody snaps" Gai-Sensei said as he snapped in Kakashi and Kurenai's faces.

Kakashi would have gladly have snapped back, if only he had learned. Snapping hadn't been invented when he came around.

"Who cares? How much money did we make?" Kurenai asked Kakashi breaking his thoughts, as Kakashi just shrugged.

"18, 000" Iruka told them as the Jounins grabbed the money from him, "Who let YOU touch it?" Gai-Sensei as Iruka just looked down at his shoes.

"Is that enough?" Kakashi wondered allowed as Kurenai shook her head, "I think we need a bit more money"

"Maybe we SHOULD have a poetry bash" Kurenai said as she stared at the money, "We get to snap" Gai-Sensei said happily as Kakashi cringed. Would his secret come out?

"Ok, but where's Asuma? He needs to know" Gai-Sensei said looking around.

Back with Asuma… 

"Are you SURE that Itachi's coming to fight me?" Sasuke asked as he polished Asuma's floor, "Oh YEAAAHH! He's just late" Asuma said shrugging grabbing his coat.

"Where are you going?" Sasuke asked the sensei, "Just out for a bite. Um, you missed a spot" Asuma said pointing to the window.

"What about ITACHI?" Sasuke yelled after him, "the faster you CLEAN the faster he'll COME" Asuma said walking away from his new cleaning nut job maid.

"Hey Asuma where you been?" Kakashi asked him, "You know me- they always trying to catch me riding dirty" Asuma said shaking his head.

"Ride till we die, iight?" Kakashi said giving Asuma props, "Yeh" Asuma said as they walked into the sunset with a manly stagger.

**KDZ**: Thanks to all the reviewers! AND I swear the Poetry Bash is the LAAAAAAST filler and then I'll go back to driving, promise! I was bored with driving but now I think it's time to go back. So get read for some more Cliff Crashing and Granny Hit'n'Runs GALORE!


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